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Sunday, December 18, 2011

How to have a clean home & happy homemaker.

So you want a clean house, but can't afford a maid? How can you do it yourself?

I will start out with the wee beginnings, as it really helps to start while the baby is in the womb. ;0, but feel free to skip around to find what you want.

Because the VERY biggest factor is how YOU (and your spouse) feel about housework! :)
If you like it, and expect the kids will like it too, and expect that of course they will help clean, you are sure to win helpers! You will also need to prepare adequate consequences to further the cause, good first and sad if that does not work.

Just like it is way easier to get kids to eat the foods you like, and hard to convince them to eat vegetables you don't care for -- same goes with ANYTHING in life. As the role models that you live with and love are the best teachers with “actions speaking louder than words” (or even rewards!) As most people think if you have to pay someone to do something, it must be something that they don't want/like to do themselves.

So the first thing to do in cleaning (or life even) is “Get yourself an Attitude of Gratitude.”

Of course if you had great role models in this, I don't know why you are even reading this, but, if not, you can overcome that challenge too. Maybe this story will help.

One couple hated housework, and their home showed it. They blamed it on the fact that they had little money, but they barely felt any gratitude for the used furniture they acquired. It was actually quite good looking, but it wasn't really what they had dreamed of. They also didn't like their apartment, the color or style of the flooring, the generic drapes, etc. Some other things that didn't help, were that her mother had been an immaculate house cleaner and had picked up after her daughter. Thus to her daughter, it felt natural to leave things out, and a burden undeserved to have to clean up. The husband also hardly noticed when they left things out, as that is how they had both been subconsciously trained. The mess itself seemed the leftover teenage battleground proving they had won the battle with Moms who used to nag about picking up their stuff, but didn't give any other consequences for doing so. They just weren't trained to care to take care of what they had.
Then a huge horrid hurricane happened to the little Island Nation. Many people were killed and almost all the people were plunged into poverty. Both of them had their whole families and all their businesses effected terribly if not wiped out entirely. All most every home was flooded, furniture clothing and everything ruined. There was little money to buy more but even then, the very furniture and food stores in town had their contents destroyed too. Everything damaged if not by the wind and water breaking windows, or trees smashing roofs, then the collapsing buildings. Even after the water finally drained away it left massive foul mud and sludge over everything. Fire finished the rest when the gasoline floating on top of the water was ignited by snapped electric lines etc. Disaster extreme!
Everything with filthy, it seemed that there was no place that was clean or pretty or comfortable, even the few cars were swept up and flooded/crashing into each other and buildings etc. You couldn't even clean you own hands, so when one tried to wipe away tears, they streaked their faces with dirt. The water no longer came out clean from pipes IF there were pipes you could get to, or soap you could find, or a clean towel. Everyone was thirsty and hungry, but thankfully not terribly cold as it was a more tropical country. They had their lives and each other with enough health to work. They had nothing of material wealth but they realized they still had the knowledge in their heads and their relationships with other people. It was amazingly enough to live on when with hope as they had the gospel of Jesus Christ and knew why they were on earth. To learn to be Christlike in challenges.
Now they appreciated what they had lost. Now seeing anything clean and orderly seemed a beautiful, wonderful miracle. It seemed a great teaching blessing in their lives, as they had grew in gratitude for what wonderful blessings they had. So when humanitarian help came, and they were given a plastic bag with soap, hand towels, tooth brushes with paste and combs, they felt loved and appreciated it greatly.
And the water, clean water! To drink and wash your hands and face! Though at first there was not enough to water wash any clothing they managed to salvage, that came much later. Food, also was so important, but more appreciated to eat with clean hands. It was a good thing they didn't have to do much to prepare any food, but it was ready to eat. Everything took time in a battle against dirt & mess.
They learned fast, to first prepare a place as clean as they could, to be an island amidst the mess. Then they worked to grow their island of cleanliness and order. They learned to love clear clean open space s. They learned to love order, specific places to put things for safety and reuse. When they found little things amidst the destruction that were still good, they carefully put them safely away. Treasures!
They were so thankful to have people come to take away garbage that they would rush to gather as much as they could to throw in the trucks. Now it was like heaven to GET to have a clean area to live in. They learned to work unconsciously but constantly in keeping their surroundings clean, as who knew when they would have more time later. They developed a “clean as you go” attitude which won the war against dirty clutter by gratefully replacing it with cleanliness and order. The end.

So, did you notice the principles they learned, and can you think of more?

1. Begin where you stand, and grow/keep an island of cleanliness. (Being grateful for what you have.)
2. Make places to put the things you need/treasure (a place for everything & everything in its place)
3. Make a way to collect/remove the trash that you gather together. (get bags, boxes or waste baskets)

So, now let us go back to the beginning. So if you are just 18, single, in an apartment, you can begin there. Just apply the basic principles above first.

The next principles are “first things first”.

In other words, get what you need, before getting what you just want.
What are the basic needs? Food, shelter, clothing, some meaningful work to do/someone to care for.

If you have a way to earn money, blessed are you, especially if you enjoy the work! Work IS a blessing and being able to do it with the time & energy to do what is required is a further blessing.

Think about time as the blessing it is too. If you have time, energy, knowledge and money, you can do almost anything. So what steals time, energy, knowledge or money from us?

“Stuff”. Some stuff is useful even if it is only a joy to our eyes- it bring joy. Some things are just stuff, and it is a talent to be able to see things for what they are. Are we protecting things that are just stuff that we don't personally need or love? Is it taking our time to clean them, store them, are they taking up room in our lives and in our minds that could be used for things we would use or love? When we remember that we can't take “stuff” with us when we die, but we can take the joy of giving to others things that they need- does that help us to let go of stuff?

Stuff, beyond what we need, that we are only emotionally attached to, but it is in storage, is just getting older, out of date, may mold or mildew, or be damaged or stolen, and it takes up room in our minds too.

Here is another principle; “if something is not convenient to store, it is not convenient to have”. If you live in a 5th wheel RV, probably having a huge Kirby Vac with a box of attachments is not convenient for you. Your amount of carpet to clean is tiny, barely larger than the vacuum. If someone gave you a Kirby as a wedding gift, can you return it or sell it or? If you have no place to store it or any need of it, so it just sits in the center of your living room, then, it is not a blessing, it is a curse!. Sell it or give it away! Do not be a hoarder! This is a challenge to many, especially when aged parents die and you inherit their stuff, which you probably don't need but may feel some attachment to. What will you do?

Unfortunately the longer we keep stuff, the more attached we may become to it, especially if we spent good money on it in the first place and then paid to store it in some storage unit. Declare freedom! Think in ways of plenty, not poverty, but you don't have to throw things away, first try to sell them, or gift them to someone who needs them, or give to a thrift store etc. :)

Trying to keep things that are not convenient to keep, because of sentimental reasons is sad. Maybe you could take a picture of the item, and attach it to a page with write up why it has meaning to you, and then pass it to someone who needs it? That way you don't just lose it, but bless others with it.

OK, now we should just have things that we actually really need, or things that are easy to have that bring us joy (pictures on the wall?). These things should also be easy to care for, clean, or hopefully we can do something to make them so. Put a new finish on it, if it has paint flaking off etc?

You can continually ask yourself about things around you, “is this blessing me or cursing me?”. Ask yourself the question before you buy something or accept something from another too. It saves time.

When our surroundings are functional, then we get more done. Function is first, form (beauty) second. Form follows function. How you arrange your belongings, even clothing in the closet or furniture works the same way. You wouldn't put your couch right against the wall with no way to sit on it except crawling over the back, so why should anything be put where it is harder to use?

Putting things near where they will first be used saves time and energy. Extra toilet paper goes best in the bathroom (if there is storage there- if not can you make a cute wall hanger for a couple of rolls?)
Coats go best by the door you leave the house from. Glasses go in the cabinet next to the sink so you can easily get a drink. (though I like to have personalized mugs hanging by the sink that get reused for water as that saves the most time, energy and money!) Hopefully you get the idea.

Here is something that really worked for me. Lower cabinets in kitchens can be more difficult to use as you often have to get down on hands and knees to see into the back. The high end kitchens these days often have pull out bottoms of the shelves so that is not necessary but I discovered that I could just cut a cardboard box to fit the shelf, and use it like a drawer. I folded the top flaps of the boxes to the inside, and so when moving day came, I already had a box that fit the contents. I also used colorful coordinating print contact paper to cover the end of the box that showed, and used stick on address labels and a felt pen to label the contents of the boxes. I loved it, and one daughter uses the idea even now.

Now you also have levels of storage space. “A” is what you use Almost every day, (the easiest to get to), “B” is maybe By monthly, (or medium hard to get at) and “C” is for Christmas (or things used only once a year etc.) You use this principle to see where to put things in your kitchen, (and the whole house) like pots and pans, etc. If you have a big platter for the Thanksgiving Turkey, don't put in where you have to deal with it to get your breakfast bowl. Right?

Now, I forgot to say, to clean the shelves or storage areas before you put anything there. Also to work to get containers for your things, so they don't get fouled by mice, spiders or dust etc. and they are protected from being smashed too. The plastic bins are very nice as they are water and pest resistant (but not proof so best not to store uncanned food in them), or same size cardboard boxes that you can put inside a plastic bag, that you label with a felt marker pen on all sides & top, with the contents, so you don't have to open it to know what is in it. You can also put a date on it if you want to show when you last used it, so if it goes three years without being used, I doubt you need it! The lower shelves for heavy things and the higher for lighter but also depending on how often you will need them.
So now, let us say that you have mastered the basic principles (can you name them in your own words?

a. Begin where you are, and make your island of clean order grow
b Keep only things you need or love that are convenient to have and use
c. Make safe places for your things where you can easily use them & put them away asap d. Make plenty of convenient places to deposit trash and empty them frequently

These same principles apply to all your stuff, even your clothing, shoes, and the food on your shelves.
Use it, sell it, give it away or lose it! Go through your belonging often so when it comes time to move, you will have way less work to do and you will be able to find what you want in a flash!

Ok, now we are ready for you to be carrying a wee one under your heart (I do not like the term “in your belly or stomach” maybe that is where some got the idea that ogres ate children?) and if you have done all the above, you will be one happy Momma, singing as you breeze through your home.

Oh, I forgot, there is the whole FLY Lady online stuff. (Finally Loving Yourself). Where you make your bed AS you get out of it (saves time- unless you must hit the potty fast!) but at least before you go to breakfast, or get dressed, you make your bed. If you get up at the same time as your dear husband, he can make it with you that saves even more time, or at least pull up your side, and the last one out of bed is to make it. :) This helps you not get back in it, and a bed is so large that the whole room looks cleaner if it is made. :) A made up bed makes it less likely that spiders or bugs could sneak in as the blankets would be too heavy for them to lift if it is made smoothly! (dust ruffles that hit the floor are ladders for insects :(

Next, you get yourself dressed for the day, clear to shoes that tie, like sneakers, as again, it helps you be in the mood and less likely to retire to the couch. Fix your hair, and face etc so Dear Husband sees and kisses his lovely wife before he goes to work. You leave each room clean as you leave it, so wipe the bathroom sink, straighten the towels etc, and you'll have no fear if company drops in and needs it!

Now, (hopefully) if you have left the kitchen clean the night before, and prepared ahead of time what menus for the whole week (month even better) then you know you have the ingredients and don't waste time searching only to find one missing. You fix breakfast and clean as you go, so if you spill egg on the counter or floor, you wipe it up immediately (with the cleaning cloth you keep in the pocket of your darling apron) rather than spread it around the counter, or horrors, smear the carpet through the house.

You both carry your dishes to the sink, rinse them and put them in the dishwasher (if you are so blessed to have one) but wait to run the dishwasher till it is full after dinner. If no dw, then do them by hand, by running hot water and using a dish brush that dispenses soap, immediately rinse, dry and put away. Wa la, the kitchen is clean!

Now the fly lady says to clean different zones each day- and I like that. You can check on line how that works, so I won't go into that here.

So-- where were we, oh, yes you are “with child”, and with the home front so organized and clean it is no big problem, as you are not tripping over unneeded stuff, though you can't see your feet. You have gotten everything ready for the coming baby, including your bag packed for the hospital. You have studied with your husband on natural childbirth and borrowed or purchased and read all the best books like “The Baby Whisper” “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and any others that catch your fancy.

Now lets say the baby has arrived, and you are not sleep deprived as the books helped you to help the baby go to sleep and you know how to help baby to not fully wake when you feed your baby in the night etc. Your Dear Husband or Your Mother or Sister, whomever has come to help out can see how to find what is needed as you take care of yourself and baby and they keep the home clean and laundry done.

Laundry-- I forgot that! The same principles apply here, so if you do not love to iron clothing, do not have any that need to be ironed. Same with dry cleaning, don't buy anything that needs it. Bless others with any clothing that is not working for you, just don't keep it in your closet as it crowds, wrinkles and blocks you for stuff you do love to wear.

Keep some neutral cleaner (Like speed cleanings “red juice”) in a spray bottle in or near your closet so if you see a spot as you inspect your clothing while undressing, you can immediately blot it away. If clothing is not smelly, or dirty, then put it away to use again, as no use wearing it out in the wash, which is also a waste of electricity, soap and water plus your time.

If clothing is dirty, then put it in the appropriate bin of sorted clothing, that is either in your bedroom, or if the laundry room is close, in there. You will need one for whites, medium, & dark colors, and one for towels or heavy longer drying things. You will probably want a rod up above the appliances with empty hangers so you can hang up no iron shirts etc.

If your washer/dryer is not stacked, then you have wonderful space above it, if you pull them slightly forward, to have your Dear Husband make a shelf for you to put square plastic tubs/baskets for the clean clothing to go into. You can label them for what you need, like bed linens, towels, His, Hers, kitchen, and one for baby. :)

As the clothing comes out of the dryer, you place it on top of the dryer and quickly fold it and place it in the appropriate bin, ready to carry to where they go when full. Later your children will have their own bins that they empty when full or on a schedule you set together. If there bins do not get emptied, you can express how sorry you are, but that you will do their laundry WHEN they have room in their bin to put more in. :) You also will not pick up their clothing off the floor, as if they are old enough to take it off their bodies, they are old enough to put it in the dirty clothes hamper.

“Love and Logic” parenting principles will save your sanity in dealing with your children, teaching them responsibility etc. They have books and DVDs, plus movies of how to apply their principles that are how I, myself, want to be treated. Also how I believe Heavenly Father deals with us too, with love, giving us choices and natural consequences.

I hope, expect my next post will be about some of the express systems for chores for kids. :)

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