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Sunday, December 18, 2011

As a friends' son left this life by his own hand :(

I thought this had published a month or so ago. but better late than never?

I found this article on Meridian Magazine (online-free) that is so timely that I believe it to be one of "Gods coincidences" as it was written by a mother whose own son left this life in the same way, seven years ago. This article includes some of the treasures from the scriptures and writings of LDS church authorities that have comforted her that the Savior of the World will still be working with her son though he be dead, as God is the God of the living and the dead, as all are alive to Him.

the title is "Glad Tidings of Great Joy" by Darla Isackson
"I was asked to substitute in Relief Society this week and teach the lesson the final judgment. Since my son’s death more than seven years ago, I have had a compelling need to learn more about that subject—especially the possibility of continued preparation in the spirit world. The experience of preparing for this lesson has been so heart-swelling, so sweet, so encouraging, because I reviewed much of what I have learned. Because the message of the Savior’s love and redemptive power is so intertwined with this subject it is an appropriate Christmas message as well.

I immediately knew I wanted to present this lesson in a way that would be comforting and encouraging. Some connect the word judgment with criticism or even condemnation. However, judgment simply means “to hear, to examine all aspects of, to apply the law to, to consider the relative merits of.” And in the case of final judgment, it means the Savior’s decision of what kingdom we not only merit, but are best suited for and would be happiest in. Stan Winchester, who reviewed this article for me said that he felt we could substitute “awards ceremony” for the “final judgment” because we will be receiving gifts of eternal life and kingdoms of glory. Remember, even the telestial and terrestial kingdoms are kingdoms of glory, which we’ve been told will be more glorious than we can comprehend.

The Savior’s Focus is on Saving

I read in the Ensign, “Too often, in well-meaning attempts at encouraging obedience, we stress the punishment that will eventually come to sinners, and we understate the extent of Christ’s mercy. (Todd A. Britsch, Ensign, April 1986, p. 13) This article will focus on Christ’s mercy; when looking forward to judgment we need to remember that: “God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:17) The Lord said, “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39).

We also need to remember that the Lord’s judgment will be infinitely more merciful and kind than our own. Joseph Smith said, While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard . . . He is a wise Lawgiver, and will judge all men, not according to the narrow, contracted notions of men. (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, edited by Joseph Fielding Smith, Salt Lake City, Utah, Deseret Book Co., 1938, 218.)

Preliminary Judgments

The lesson manual mentioned preliminary judgments on earth, when we are interviewed for baptism, for a temple recommend, for advancement in the priesthood, for callings, for example. Other preliminary judgments would be our birth placement. For instance, God judges those he knows will die before the age of accountability already worthy of celestial glory when he places them in those particular bodies. Those with those with mental impairments, such as Down Syndrome are similarly judged and guaranteed celestial glory. There is a preliminary judgment immediately after death when spirits are assigned to various levels of paradise and spirit prison.

Final Judgment (Awards Ceremony)

The final judgment takes place at the very end of the Millennium after all are resurrected (Alma 11:41). So many scriptures refer to that judgment. The Lord judges by:

• Works (Revelation 2:12, D&C 111, 1 Nephi 15:32

• Words & Thoughts (Alma 12:14, Matthew 12:36-37)

• Desires of Our Hearts (D&C 137:9, Alma 4: 3,5)

• Records kept on earth and the book of life (the record kept in heaven (D&C 128:6-8)

• The Record in our own minds and bodies (Romans 2:15)

But here is where my personal story has to come in . . . and why I put up a poster that read:

The Redemptive Power of Jesus in the Final Judgment: Glad Tidings of Great Joy!

A little over seven years ago my son, who had left the Church and become involved with drugs and alcohol, died of suicide. I was plunged into desperate study and prayer in order to find some comfort in regard to his situation on the Other Side.

I have attained a very personal witness that because of the Atonement of Christ, the very records we are judged by can be changed as we repent and are sanctified by the power of the Holy Ghost—here and hereafter. I believe with all my heart that the process of sanctification continues in the Spirit World and throughout the Millennium, clear up to the final judgment.

One reference after another gave me new hope for Brian, such as: Ted R. Callister, of the Seventy said, “The consequences of the Atonement are no less effective prospectively. The redeeming powers of the Savior stretch forward to reach the spirits of the dead just as readily as they stretched back to our premortal life.” (The Infinite Atonement, p. 78)

I had found comfort in the following quote from the Prophet Joseph Smith for all the years Brian was a lost lamb, but after his death, they had new meaning. The italicized words jumped out at me. “Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or in the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father's heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain.” (Joseph Smith, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, 10, emphasis added)

Progress after Death Gives Hope to All

The glad tidings of great joy pertains to all of us, because we all need more time than we have in mortality to become perfected. Bruce R. McConkie said, “Salvation does not come all at once . . . It will take us ages to accomplish this end [perfection], for there will be greater progress beyond the grave.” (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:18, emphasis added)

Stan Winchester said in a recent blog, “To be perfect, in the original Greek means to be complete. Who of us will be complete as our Heavenly Father is while we remain mortal? None, not one; yet, the commandment is to be perfect like Him. Accessing the grace of God is the process of becoming complete, it is about opening our hearts to Jesus Christ and trusting Him to lead us in this process.”

Missionary Work in the Spirit World and Temple Work on Earth

One paragraph in the lesson manual (Gospel Principles) states, “Through the work we do in temples, all people who have lived on the earth can have an equal opportunity to receive the fullness of the gospel and the ordinances of salvation so they can inherit a place in the highest degree of celestial glory.” (p. 272)

Billions of people—most of God’s children that have lived on this earth—have not had the opportunity to hear the good news of the gospel or to choose the blessings of temple ordinances while yet alive.

The scripture “few there be that find it” (Matthew 7:13-14) is probably referring to the fact that few during this earth life find the strait and narrow way. Many others, like my son, had some knowledge of the gospel, but wandered off before it could be proven in their lives. We have been given glimpses of the mammoth missionary efforts in behalf of all these people in the spirit world.

After Brian’s death, Section 138 of the Doctrine and Covenants, President Joseph F. Smith’s vision of the redemption of the dead, became one of my favorite chapters to study. I recommend the entire chapter. President Smith said, in part,

“I beheld that the faithful elders of this dispensation, when they depart from mortal life, continue their labors in the preaching of the gospel of repentance and redemption, through the sacrifice of the Only Begotton Son of God, among those who are in darkness and under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirit of the dead. The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God. And after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation.” (vs 57-59)

Only the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds out the assurance that every person ever born will have the opportunity to be taught and really understand the gospel and have essential temple ordinances performed for them by proxy. There would be no point to missionary work there and proxy ordinances here if the people in the spirit world did not still have the option of accepting or rejecting, of repenting, of choosing Christ. Their decisions there still count. They have the opportunity to learn, repent, and progress according to their heart’s desires. Stan said, “When I was investigating the Church proxy temple work is one of the gospel truths that really excited me. I knew then that God was loving, fair, and not a respecter of persons based on when or where a person lived.”

“Wait!” many people have said, “What about Alma’s words about not procrastinating the day of our repentance, and about this being the time to prepare to meet God?” In no other area of gospel study is it so important to avoid taking scripture messages out of context. Alma spoke the truth, but we need to look at the whole picture, and to weigh his message carefully according to the whole gospel plan. Alma was speaking to those who had been taught the gospel and were in a position to see and understand the necessity of repentance. And surely, no one who knows and understand should take lightly his counsel. But can we believe for a moment that the Lord would condemn someone who didn’t know and understand in time to fully repent in this life?

My Quest to Learn the Limits of the Second Estate

I began to feel more and more strongly that the second estate continues in the spirit world. That would make so much sense! But “second estate” is usually defined as “life on this earth.” For years, the only documentation I could find was in quotes that indicate that the spirit world IS “on this earth.” But I wanted more. Finally, the month before my book of comfort for those who have lost someone to suicide went to press, a mother who had also lost a son to suicide sent me the following reference:

President Marion G. Romney said, “We have our second estate, which is the mortality we are now experiencing and our sojourn in the spirit world following death.” (“We Are Children of God,” Ensign, September 1984, 3).

She also told me that Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in his book The Promise of Discipleship, had written an entire chapter on the spirit world! I obtained a copy of the book and read and re-read the chapter on the spirit world. I was edified and uplifted by his words that are so full of hope for our departed loved ones! Here’s an important quote:

We tend to overlook the reality that the spirit world and paradise are part, really, of the second estate. The work of the Lord, so far as the second estate is concerned, is completed before the Judgment and the Resurrection . . . He gave us our spirit birth, bringing the first estate to all. He gave the gift to us of mortality, or the second estate, where all might be “added upon” . . . He provides in the spirit world a continuum of mortality's probation, the great opportunity for all. Neal A. Maxwell, The Promise of Discipleship, Deseret Book, Salt Lake City, Utah, 2001, 111. (Recently released in soft cover.)

How could it be any different? God is both merciful and just. What else would make sense?

We are told in the Book of Mormon, “And he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him” (2 Nephi 26:33).

My Personal Witness

I recently re-read my journal entries for the year after Brian died, and was thrilled to note that on two separate occasions I had received a spiritual witness that Brian now knows the gospel truths he resisted here. I love this entry made December 24, 2004, about three months after he died:

I was listening to a tape in The Work and the Glory series. Joseph Smith turns to Lydia and begins talking to her about her recently deceased father—who had been so bitter against Joseph, the Church, and the Book of Mormon. He said he suspected that Josiah McBride’s opinion might be changed by having the Angel Moroni sit down and chat with him about directing Joseph to the gold plates.

I started to cry and the words came to my mind, ”Brian knows now. Brian KNOWS.” I was filled with peace and hope and assurance that he had been taught in perfect clarity, in a way totally acceptable to him, the reality of the Restoration, the plan of salvation, the mission of the Savior, and how the Atonement applies to him. Nothing could comfort me more.

But something did comfort me even more. A few months later, on June 5, 2005, I recorded the moment when the Holy Ghost told me for sure that Brian not only knew of Christ, but had also accepted Him.

Had a special study time with scriptures in the morning and was left with a burning desire to know if Brian is accepting the gospel and feeling what I am feeling, is knowing the truth of God and the redeeming power of Christ. Went into the kitchen to get a drink of water and the Spirit washed over me and I KNEW Brian has chosen Christ, is repenting and making great progress. I can’t begin to express the joy this brings me. There is absolutely nothing I have desired more than to know that Brian has accepted the love and teachings of Jesus.

Nothing surpasses the “knowing” in our hearts that comes from the Holy Ghost. The Savior is a Being of light and truth; truth conveyed by the Spirit brings profound relief from Satan’s lies. Such experiences are part of my personal witness to you.

Quotes from church leaders are wonderful, but the best witness of all is from the Holy Ghost.

As members of the Church we have been given the Gift of the Holy Ghost—the Spirit of Truth. The peace that comes from that witness is the peace the surpasses all understanding.

So many things I may not know until I enter the spirit world myself. But so many things I know for sure right now because the Holy Ghost has borne witness to my soul. I know, for instance, that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, and that the spirit world is real, and is a place of light and truth where people may progress in major ways.

The concept of the final judgment need not be daunting when we know and understand that the Lord’s love and mercy and help are a constant for us here, as well as hereafter. As we celebrate His birth, may we remember that Jesus truly brought glad tidings of great joy!

Note: Darla has a rich background in writing and editing and has been one of Meridian’s most consistent and most-read columnists since 2002. To learn more about Darla and her books, Trust God No Matter What! and After My Son’s Suicide: An LDS Mother Finds Comfort in Christ and Strength to Go On, visit her website: Also check out Barnes and Noble Nook Books and"

How to have a clean home & happy homemaker.

So you want a clean house, but can't afford a maid? How can you do it yourself?

I will start out with the wee beginnings, as it really helps to start while the baby is in the womb. ;0, but feel free to skip around to find what you want.

Because the VERY biggest factor is how YOU (and your spouse) feel about housework! :)
If you like it, and expect the kids will like it too, and expect that of course they will help clean, you are sure to win helpers! You will also need to prepare adequate consequences to further the cause, good first and sad if that does not work.

Just like it is way easier to get kids to eat the foods you like, and hard to convince them to eat vegetables you don't care for -- same goes with ANYTHING in life. As the role models that you live with and love are the best teachers with “actions speaking louder than words” (or even rewards!) As most people think if you have to pay someone to do something, it must be something that they don't want/like to do themselves.

So the first thing to do in cleaning (or life even) is “Get yourself an Attitude of Gratitude.”

Of course if you had great role models in this, I don't know why you are even reading this, but, if not, you can overcome that challenge too. Maybe this story will help.

One couple hated housework, and their home showed it. They blamed it on the fact that they had little money, but they barely felt any gratitude for the used furniture they acquired. It was actually quite good looking, but it wasn't really what they had dreamed of. They also didn't like their apartment, the color or style of the flooring, the generic drapes, etc. Some other things that didn't help, were that her mother had been an immaculate house cleaner and had picked up after her daughter. Thus to her daughter, it felt natural to leave things out, and a burden undeserved to have to clean up. The husband also hardly noticed when they left things out, as that is how they had both been subconsciously trained. The mess itself seemed the leftover teenage battleground proving they had won the battle with Moms who used to nag about picking up their stuff, but didn't give any other consequences for doing so. They just weren't trained to care to take care of what they had.
Then a huge horrid hurricane happened to the little Island Nation. Many people were killed and almost all the people were plunged into poverty. Both of them had their whole families and all their businesses effected terribly if not wiped out entirely. All most every home was flooded, furniture clothing and everything ruined. There was little money to buy more but even then, the very furniture and food stores in town had their contents destroyed too. Everything damaged if not by the wind and water breaking windows, or trees smashing roofs, then the collapsing buildings. Even after the water finally drained away it left massive foul mud and sludge over everything. Fire finished the rest when the gasoline floating on top of the water was ignited by snapped electric lines etc. Disaster extreme!
Everything with filthy, it seemed that there was no place that was clean or pretty or comfortable, even the few cars were swept up and flooded/crashing into each other and buildings etc. You couldn't even clean you own hands, so when one tried to wipe away tears, they streaked their faces with dirt. The water no longer came out clean from pipes IF there were pipes you could get to, or soap you could find, or a clean towel. Everyone was thirsty and hungry, but thankfully not terribly cold as it was a more tropical country. They had their lives and each other with enough health to work. They had nothing of material wealth but they realized they still had the knowledge in their heads and their relationships with other people. It was amazingly enough to live on when with hope as they had the gospel of Jesus Christ and knew why they were on earth. To learn to be Christlike in challenges.
Now they appreciated what they had lost. Now seeing anything clean and orderly seemed a beautiful, wonderful miracle. It seemed a great teaching blessing in their lives, as they had grew in gratitude for what wonderful blessings they had. So when humanitarian help came, and they were given a plastic bag with soap, hand towels, tooth brushes with paste and combs, they felt loved and appreciated it greatly.
And the water, clean water! To drink and wash your hands and face! Though at first there was not enough to water wash any clothing they managed to salvage, that came much later. Food, also was so important, but more appreciated to eat with clean hands. It was a good thing they didn't have to do much to prepare any food, but it was ready to eat. Everything took time in a battle against dirt & mess.
They learned fast, to first prepare a place as clean as they could, to be an island amidst the mess. Then they worked to grow their island of cleanliness and order. They learned to love clear clean open space s. They learned to love order, specific places to put things for safety and reuse. When they found little things amidst the destruction that were still good, they carefully put them safely away. Treasures!
They were so thankful to have people come to take away garbage that they would rush to gather as much as they could to throw in the trucks. Now it was like heaven to GET to have a clean area to live in. They learned to work unconsciously but constantly in keeping their surroundings clean, as who knew when they would have more time later. They developed a “clean as you go” attitude which won the war against dirty clutter by gratefully replacing it with cleanliness and order. The end.

So, did you notice the principles they learned, and can you think of more?

1. Begin where you stand, and grow/keep an island of cleanliness. (Being grateful for what you have.)
2. Make places to put the things you need/treasure (a place for everything & everything in its place)
3. Make a way to collect/remove the trash that you gather together. (get bags, boxes or waste baskets)

So, now let us go back to the beginning. So if you are just 18, single, in an apartment, you can begin there. Just apply the basic principles above first.

The next principles are “first things first”.

In other words, get what you need, before getting what you just want.
What are the basic needs? Food, shelter, clothing, some meaningful work to do/someone to care for.

If you have a way to earn money, blessed are you, especially if you enjoy the work! Work IS a blessing and being able to do it with the time & energy to do what is required is a further blessing.

Think about time as the blessing it is too. If you have time, energy, knowledge and money, you can do almost anything. So what steals time, energy, knowledge or money from us?

“Stuff”. Some stuff is useful even if it is only a joy to our eyes- it bring joy. Some things are just stuff, and it is a talent to be able to see things for what they are. Are we protecting things that are just stuff that we don't personally need or love? Is it taking our time to clean them, store them, are they taking up room in our lives and in our minds that could be used for things we would use or love? When we remember that we can't take “stuff” with us when we die, but we can take the joy of giving to others things that they need- does that help us to let go of stuff?

Stuff, beyond what we need, that we are only emotionally attached to, but it is in storage, is just getting older, out of date, may mold or mildew, or be damaged or stolen, and it takes up room in our minds too.

Here is another principle; “if something is not convenient to store, it is not convenient to have”. If you live in a 5th wheel RV, probably having a huge Kirby Vac with a box of attachments is not convenient for you. Your amount of carpet to clean is tiny, barely larger than the vacuum. If someone gave you a Kirby as a wedding gift, can you return it or sell it or? If you have no place to store it or any need of it, so it just sits in the center of your living room, then, it is not a blessing, it is a curse!. Sell it or give it away! Do not be a hoarder! This is a challenge to many, especially when aged parents die and you inherit their stuff, which you probably don't need but may feel some attachment to. What will you do?

Unfortunately the longer we keep stuff, the more attached we may become to it, especially if we spent good money on it in the first place and then paid to store it in some storage unit. Declare freedom! Think in ways of plenty, not poverty, but you don't have to throw things away, first try to sell them, or gift them to someone who needs them, or give to a thrift store etc. :)

Trying to keep things that are not convenient to keep, because of sentimental reasons is sad. Maybe you could take a picture of the item, and attach it to a page with write up why it has meaning to you, and then pass it to someone who needs it? That way you don't just lose it, but bless others with it.

OK, now we should just have things that we actually really need, or things that are easy to have that bring us joy (pictures on the wall?). These things should also be easy to care for, clean, or hopefully we can do something to make them so. Put a new finish on it, if it has paint flaking off etc?

You can continually ask yourself about things around you, “is this blessing me or cursing me?”. Ask yourself the question before you buy something or accept something from another too. It saves time.

When our surroundings are functional, then we get more done. Function is first, form (beauty) second. Form follows function. How you arrange your belongings, even clothing in the closet or furniture works the same way. You wouldn't put your couch right against the wall with no way to sit on it except crawling over the back, so why should anything be put where it is harder to use?

Putting things near where they will first be used saves time and energy. Extra toilet paper goes best in the bathroom (if there is storage there- if not can you make a cute wall hanger for a couple of rolls?)
Coats go best by the door you leave the house from. Glasses go in the cabinet next to the sink so you can easily get a drink. (though I like to have personalized mugs hanging by the sink that get reused for water as that saves the most time, energy and money!) Hopefully you get the idea.

Here is something that really worked for me. Lower cabinets in kitchens can be more difficult to use as you often have to get down on hands and knees to see into the back. The high end kitchens these days often have pull out bottoms of the shelves so that is not necessary but I discovered that I could just cut a cardboard box to fit the shelf, and use it like a drawer. I folded the top flaps of the boxes to the inside, and so when moving day came, I already had a box that fit the contents. I also used colorful coordinating print contact paper to cover the end of the box that showed, and used stick on address labels and a felt pen to label the contents of the boxes. I loved it, and one daughter uses the idea even now.

Now you also have levels of storage space. “A” is what you use Almost every day, (the easiest to get to), “B” is maybe By monthly, (or medium hard to get at) and “C” is for Christmas (or things used only once a year etc.) You use this principle to see where to put things in your kitchen, (and the whole house) like pots and pans, etc. If you have a big platter for the Thanksgiving Turkey, don't put in where you have to deal with it to get your breakfast bowl. Right?

Now, I forgot to say, to clean the shelves or storage areas before you put anything there. Also to work to get containers for your things, so they don't get fouled by mice, spiders or dust etc. and they are protected from being smashed too. The plastic bins are very nice as they are water and pest resistant (but not proof so best not to store uncanned food in them), or same size cardboard boxes that you can put inside a plastic bag, that you label with a felt marker pen on all sides & top, with the contents, so you don't have to open it to know what is in it. You can also put a date on it if you want to show when you last used it, so if it goes three years without being used, I doubt you need it! The lower shelves for heavy things and the higher for lighter but also depending on how often you will need them.
So now, let us say that you have mastered the basic principles (can you name them in your own words?

a. Begin where you are, and make your island of clean order grow
b Keep only things you need or love that are convenient to have and use
c. Make safe places for your things where you can easily use them & put them away asap d. Make plenty of convenient places to deposit trash and empty them frequently

These same principles apply to all your stuff, even your clothing, shoes, and the food on your shelves.
Use it, sell it, give it away or lose it! Go through your belonging often so when it comes time to move, you will have way less work to do and you will be able to find what you want in a flash!

Ok, now we are ready for you to be carrying a wee one under your heart (I do not like the term “in your belly or stomach” maybe that is where some got the idea that ogres ate children?) and if you have done all the above, you will be one happy Momma, singing as you breeze through your home.

Oh, I forgot, there is the whole FLY Lady online stuff. (Finally Loving Yourself). Where you make your bed AS you get out of it (saves time- unless you must hit the potty fast!) but at least before you go to breakfast, or get dressed, you make your bed. If you get up at the same time as your dear husband, he can make it with you that saves even more time, or at least pull up your side, and the last one out of bed is to make it. :) This helps you not get back in it, and a bed is so large that the whole room looks cleaner if it is made. :) A made up bed makes it less likely that spiders or bugs could sneak in as the blankets would be too heavy for them to lift if it is made smoothly! (dust ruffles that hit the floor are ladders for insects :(

Next, you get yourself dressed for the day, clear to shoes that tie, like sneakers, as again, it helps you be in the mood and less likely to retire to the couch. Fix your hair, and face etc so Dear Husband sees and kisses his lovely wife before he goes to work. You leave each room clean as you leave it, so wipe the bathroom sink, straighten the towels etc, and you'll have no fear if company drops in and needs it!

Now, (hopefully) if you have left the kitchen clean the night before, and prepared ahead of time what menus for the whole week (month even better) then you know you have the ingredients and don't waste time searching only to find one missing. You fix breakfast and clean as you go, so if you spill egg on the counter or floor, you wipe it up immediately (with the cleaning cloth you keep in the pocket of your darling apron) rather than spread it around the counter, or horrors, smear the carpet through the house.

You both carry your dishes to the sink, rinse them and put them in the dishwasher (if you are so blessed to have one) but wait to run the dishwasher till it is full after dinner. If no dw, then do them by hand, by running hot water and using a dish brush that dispenses soap, immediately rinse, dry and put away. Wa la, the kitchen is clean!

Now the fly lady says to clean different zones each day- and I like that. You can check on line how that works, so I won't go into that here.

So-- where were we, oh, yes you are “with child”, and with the home front so organized and clean it is no big problem, as you are not tripping over unneeded stuff, though you can't see your feet. You have gotten everything ready for the coming baby, including your bag packed for the hospital. You have studied with your husband on natural childbirth and borrowed or purchased and read all the best books like “The Baby Whisper” “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and any others that catch your fancy.

Now lets say the baby has arrived, and you are not sleep deprived as the books helped you to help the baby go to sleep and you know how to help baby to not fully wake when you feed your baby in the night etc. Your Dear Husband or Your Mother or Sister, whomever has come to help out can see how to find what is needed as you take care of yourself and baby and they keep the home clean and laundry done.

Laundry-- I forgot that! The same principles apply here, so if you do not love to iron clothing, do not have any that need to be ironed. Same with dry cleaning, don't buy anything that needs it. Bless others with any clothing that is not working for you, just don't keep it in your closet as it crowds, wrinkles and blocks you for stuff you do love to wear.

Keep some neutral cleaner (Like speed cleanings “red juice”) in a spray bottle in or near your closet so if you see a spot as you inspect your clothing while undressing, you can immediately blot it away. If clothing is not smelly, or dirty, then put it away to use again, as no use wearing it out in the wash, which is also a waste of electricity, soap and water plus your time.

If clothing is dirty, then put it in the appropriate bin of sorted clothing, that is either in your bedroom, or if the laundry room is close, in there. You will need one for whites, medium, & dark colors, and one for towels or heavy longer drying things. You will probably want a rod up above the appliances with empty hangers so you can hang up no iron shirts etc.

If your washer/dryer is not stacked, then you have wonderful space above it, if you pull them slightly forward, to have your Dear Husband make a shelf for you to put square plastic tubs/baskets for the clean clothing to go into. You can label them for what you need, like bed linens, towels, His, Hers, kitchen, and one for baby. :)

As the clothing comes out of the dryer, you place it on top of the dryer and quickly fold it and place it in the appropriate bin, ready to carry to where they go when full. Later your children will have their own bins that they empty when full or on a schedule you set together. If there bins do not get emptied, you can express how sorry you are, but that you will do their laundry WHEN they have room in their bin to put more in. :) You also will not pick up their clothing off the floor, as if they are old enough to take it off their bodies, they are old enough to put it in the dirty clothes hamper.

“Love and Logic” parenting principles will save your sanity in dealing with your children, teaching them responsibility etc. They have books and DVDs, plus movies of how to apply their principles that are how I, myself, want to be treated. Also how I believe Heavenly Father deals with us too, with love, giving us choices and natural consequences.

I hope, expect my next post will be about some of the express systems for chores for kids. :)

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Family News Letter for 2011

Dear Family & Friends--- here is the annual Ray & Jane Wadsworth Family Newsletter for 2011
When I realized that I was waiting to write till we found out if we get to keep our family home in WA or not, I saw it might not happen in time plus that it didn't matter in eternity anyway. I realized that there are a lot of more important things it would be nice to share. We hope to hear your news too!
We wish we could have had all of you along on the 20+ years “dream come true” when Ray & I took an LDS church history tour of 9 days in a tour bus. It was a marathon of learning & experiencing history where we found in the 70s hall in Nauvoo that our ancestors on 3 lines, way back must have know each other! Cool! The side trip to the Abraham Lincoln area & museum was an added hit! It was a miracle we got on a tour, as all were full, yet we found a private tour with open space just a few days before departure! It didn't include the New York area sites or the Palmyra pageant we hope to do later.
What has made me happiest though are the strides Ray & I have made in our teamwork, as I got to “have my say” to the lawyer working to help us save our homestead from foreclosure. We also worked together to exhibit/promote Rays boat designs for an improvement on his “fat boat” & for a Bristol Bay Seiner plus promote our pin-bone fillet machine at the Seattle Fish Expo. There we talked to a major Marine Magazine Editor who said he was willing to work with us in coverage. Ray wrote two pages, & I wrote another page from the wife’s view while we both helped each other on our individual writing. We hope this will move things forward to boost the AK & US economy & jobs with also provide healthier, longer shelf life, better tasting wild salmon at a reasonable price.
Ray has been doing maintenance/finish work on the F/v Liahona with also making needed improvements on it to lease it for the crab/cod season. It is still for sale, as is the airplane Ray restored, & also most of our assets as we work to downsize & simplify our lives. Ray hopes to build a skiff before fishing season & that our fishing crew can be made up of our family members.
Right now we are living in the little old 5th wheel we bought from our kids & they bought used before that. It is a delight not having so much to clean, though I do miss a bath tub to soak this old grandmother body in. Ray also says he now realizes why old people walk gently, hunched over. Pain!
I am thrilled that many of the things I created & saved when our ward did “Visit to Bethlehem” about 10+ years ago, look to be used again this Saturday! I'm just sorry they were not able to do it more than one night- as so many more people could have been impacted to remember Jesus is the reason for the season. I am also enjoying sharing the gospel online with helping in comments to correct mistakes about LDS doctrine/history. Bringing people closer to our Savior Jesus Christ is such a positive experience for me. I love it! Someday I hope Ray & I get to do a couple mission to where ever!
********** Now our family news-- mostly just what has changed, to keep this on one page.*******
Eric & Tressa just moved to Calif for his work which we pray will be a blessing for them all. Though the move was stressful with tons of trials, which hopefully are blessings in disguise to help them with their kids Gavin, Brinn, Tayla, Kade, Maylee & Alissa growing stronger & helping.
Doug & Heather have Elida & Gene still in Kennewick, WA, & working in Credit Union. Doug now plays banjo & Elida clarinet. Gene loves cub scouts. Heather working on BS in psychology!
Debbie & Rick do online college classes, in ID where Debbie now gets to sub teach & teach exercise classes at the YMCA. Rick continues at Harbor Freight with Ruby, Mason & Rock in school.
Lori & Kevin moved to Boise ID area. Kevin is working as a business appraiser as their family of Ellie, Johnnie, Beth & Ray make their days full of fun, joy & work. They hope to buy a home there.
Richard & McKenna have welcomed little angel baby Aubrielle Rose who joins big brother Liam. We look forward to her Baby Blessing on Christmas Day. Richards latest plans are to become a foot doctor (podiatrist) maybe going to that special training in Northern CA. (we hope!)
Our foster/guardian-ed daughter Rochelle is expecting her second son in January. We really like Tim Neuharth who she has chosen to be the father in their family. May they all be blessed in all!
Life has blessed us in challenges while holding out hope of surviving the trials with the help of God, family & friends. We have good enough health, & in tact minds with an even stronger trust/love of God the Father & his son Jesus Christ His the restored from heaven gospel. God bless us, everyone!