courage and prayers for it

My sweet husband used to think I was such a "Chicken Little" (remember the children s story about the chick who ran around saying the sky was falling?) - as my fears caused me to tremble and fear as I watched out for the worst that could happen, and I'd prepare for that.

Then when my husband realized that **though** I had these fears (from my earlier life experiences they made sense!) that he was amazed that I must have had great courage to go forward and DO the things we did. We lived in Alaska, for a year in a one room shack we built, one window, one door, only a porta-potty and 25 miles from town, with no close neighbors, no phone, no electricity and two children, with him gone fishing most of the time! We also would make trips on our little family fishing boat, and bad storms would come up, plus we would fly in our little air plane and have to go through areas where we couldn't see the ground and could run out of fuel etc etc! He told me later that he had come to realize that I had great courage to be willing to do those things. :) (I prayed a **LOT***!!!)

Courage does not mean the absence of fear. Courage is when we DO and work with what needs to be done though we HAVE fears.

So now, I'm working to have courage (as I pray for more!) to go forward with this vacation rental business of our home. There is so much to do, and I'm so weary. I'm very thankful that my dear husband works with me, though he does not enjoy paper work and legal stuff either. He also gets overwhelmed with all there is too do, and just wants it done. Me too!

Life is not like that though, and this seems and feels the best way to be stewards over the resources that we are responsible for, and to prepare to have the resources for our older age needs. We don't want to be burdens on our children!

We have the large home we built for our family (5 kids) and we shared it and our time with more children through foster care, for 10 years when our youngest child was 12 years old. Now, maybe we can save our home from foreclosure by doing the VRBO path with it, God willing.

I wish it was as easy as just preparing a room for a new foster child. Getting the right size bed, and the decor to suit the gender and age of a child etc. I would put their name on a special mug and laundry tub, while I enjoyed making the room as comfortable and welcoming as I could. I loved working to fill their needs and helping them feel safe and loved.

We managed to get through all the Foster requirements, paperwork, required classes and mega hoops. I feel we were blessed by carrying out that role. Our hearts still are warmed by thoughts of "our Kids" (there were 20 of them!) - while we often pray for the ones we have lost contact with, as we are thankful we get some contact with some of them still.

Somehow, I pray, that we will get all this RBO work done too. I pray that opening our home to others, will be a win/win. I try not to think that some people may break or even steal some of the things we have collected over the years.

--Things like-- what about the glass slipper, that I was awarded for my costuming work for a Cinderella play? How fun for others to enjoy seeing the tiny impossible to fit any foot shoe! How sad to think of just locking it up behind a closed door to keep it safe --isn't that hoarding?? If we had a curio cabinet that would be great. It looks like I'll settle with using the Museum Wax, to "stick" it to the adult high fireplace mantel shelf, where others can see it, ostrich feather dusters can clean it safely and hopefully others will be discouraged from handling it.

I try not to worry about if people will not be careful and then sue us. Like, should we allow people to go up to the tower or attic? The tower stairs are quite a challenge, as they are very steep and for the last bit one must go on their knees to get in. Coming down is another whole challenge! What if someone falls?? What about the attic steep stairs?

Our kids LOVED that barely six feet high "A" shaped ceiling/walled space with "E" shaped floor layout. Will "enter/use at your own risk" signs be enough?? How about a drawing of a child/person falling down steep stairs with a red circle with a line over the picture for those who don't read English?? Do I wrote up a disclaimer in the forms I need to prepare for them to sign before we take any deposit? (probably- yes!)

You see how my "Chicken Little" fears kick in? I must continue to work with/through the fears. Probably many bad effects have been avoided because of my extra care and preparation. After all the foster people told us it was not "if" we would ever have accusations made against us as foster parents but "when" it *would* happen. Yet we were so careful that in 10 years, we never had any. :)

In my mind, I love to imagine other children/families enjoying the wonderful dream castle we have built and the things to decorate it that we have gathered over the years. I have put many costumes in the closets. Maybe they will ruin them. Maybe they will be careful of them and take pictures for us to see. :) Everything really belongs to God anyway! Wouldn't it be sad and even worse if the costumes just hung in a closet and no one ever got to enjoy them till they just molded away??

Anyway-- if anyone reading, has any room left in their prayers, if you will please add us and our situation in your prayers ---that we will seek, understand and **follow** the guidance of the Holy Spirit in all our work, I would greatly appreciate it!

May God bless us all with that same blessing! Gramajane