The Loss of Hope
9 years ago
Thursday, February 2, 2012
"can't stomach" this?
So, I have been having some quite severe stomach pains, off and on and of different levels since Sunday night. I have ruled out the normal things, and now wonder if I am getting an ulcer or Chrons' disease or something.
I have noticed it is worse when I feel stressed, and then realized that I have been working to respond to anti LDS distortions=lies now flourishing online in news articles and even more in the comments to them :( .
This has greatly increased my stress
(as dealing with anti or even hearing anyone use the Lords name in vain
((even in a movie etc))
gives me a slight punch in the stomach feeling)-- ugh!
---- So with the anti LDS now being spread by a member of our family, this was even more, up close and personal to me, it has stressed me W A Y more.
I have no problem with anyone sharing what they LIKE about their faith, but I feel there is not need to attack others faith (unless there is a real kool-aid type cult) but LDS is so not like that.
Mormonism is easy to leave, encourages family unity and get together, encourages questions and getting to the source with fully seeing all points, has been legally established from the beginning, abt 200 years, not just based on one charismatic leader, doesn't require any to officially/legally donate all their belongings to the group etc etc)
Anyway-- back to my point. The anti stuff, even in the presidential campaign, all goes on top of my/our "daily" stresses, dealing with our home being foreclosed on, my husbands commercial fishing business, and him building a skiff, among other things.
purpose of parenting in article about back talk :)
I hope I can past this article! It was on Meridian Magazine. I have appreciated all I have read of her articles. Maybe she has a blog too? They were foster parents, and also on TV took in a super rebellious teens from another country-- and helped them have a change of heart in I think it was two weeks, on reality tv! WOW!
Back Talking Cure
By Nicholeen Peck Notify me when this author publishesComment on Article
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backTalkingBoyQuestion:
“How do you stop children from back talking?”
Answer:
Children talking back, or sassing, to their parents seems to be a behavior many children experiment with. At different phases of development feelings of independence and intelligence emerge causing kids to talk back.
Ironically, parents spend lots of energy reinforcing the intelligence of their children, and teaching the children how to think for themselves. If we spend so many years moving our child toward self-governing thoughts and behaviors, why do we care so much about back talking children and back talking teenagers?
Respect
Respect is a vital part of learning self-government. Without an attitude of respect the child or teenager is doomed to fail in life.
Successes in life are built upon successful relationships. Any sales person can tell you this. If a person trusts you and feels appreciated and respected by you, then they will give you more trust, more money, more affection, or more opportunity.
Respect is a feeling of trust, acceptance, mercy and love. Families are built on feelings like these. When a parent feels respected she will happily serve a child more and be more willing to sacrifice for the happiness of the child.
Likewise, if a parent feels disrespect from the child, she will naturally become more controlling and negative toward the child.
Naturally, children offer similar positive and negative rewards to parents who treat them with disrespect. It is imperative that we understand there is a difference between good traditional strict parenting based on solid principles and calm communication, and disrespectful parenting manifested by feelings of disapproval, contention, superiority, and lack of understanding.
Respect is a feeling!
Aesop Knows Best
“The Blind Man And The Whelp”
A blind man was accustomed to distinguish different animals by touching them with his hands. The whelp of a wolf was brought him, with a request that he would feel it, and say what it was. He felt it and being in doubt said, “I do not quite know whether is is the cub of a fox, or the help of a wolf; but this I know full well, that it would not be safe to admit him into the sheepfold.
The Heart Of Respect
At the heart of all behavior problems such as kids talking back, there is a selfish heart. This heart can be felt,even if the child is trying to deny the problem. Just as the blind man could feel the danger of allowing the pup he held in his hands into a sheepfold, we also feel the selfish heart of the child talking back and know the home environment is not safe.
Since a selfish heart is at the heart of the back talking problem, that is the first place to focus our energies in order to stop the back talking.
This issue with back talking is never about what is said, it is about what is felt. So, as a parent, the first thing to remember is that when a child is talking back, never acknowledge the words being said. The child is attempting to initiate a power struggle, which means you need to have enough self-government not to power struggle back. Hearts rarely change in the middle of an argument.
Before you say anything, make sure you check the way you feel. Focus your energy on letting your heart speak to their heart. Practice speaking with love, understanding, and truth.
How To Stop Back Talking
Focus on your tone, and on reaching their heart.
Never talk back to a back talker.
Have negative consequences for back talking and do a proper correction.
Teach your child how to disagree appropriately before back talking is an issue (proactive parenting is always better than reactive parenting)
Praise your child for choosing to disagree appropriately.
Disagreeing Appropriately
Stephen Covey says, “Seek to understand, then to be understood.” This principle, if understood in childhood, can create an assertive person who is likely to have many leadership positions and successful relationships.
To properly disagree appropriately to parents, a child should announce his intentions by saying, “May I disagree appropriately?”
Understanding parents always say, “yes” to such an inquiry.
Then the youth proceeds to say what he “understands” about what the other person is feeling. After he shows he respects the parent enough to understand where they are coming from, then he shares his perspective of a decision or situation, and his desire for a different decision to be made by the parent.
This straight forward, yet humble, approach to disagreeing unites parents and children instead of engaging them in relationship destroying power struggles like standard, selfish disagreements tend to do.
The Positive Consequence
After a child sees that when he disagrees appropriately he often gets his way, he sees there is an attractive positive consequence for choosing to respect his parents; increased personal freedom. Getting your way is a kind of freedom which shows that the parent trusts the child.
When a child feels real trust he is more likely to repeat the respectful behavior which helped him earn that trust. Then the beginning of a respectful relationship is born.
It is important that parents remember the point of parenting is to build a long lasting respectful relationship. The point isn't how many cookies a person has had, or what time they go to bed. So, if you take the time to teach your child to disagree appropriately, then make sure they see it often works. This positive consequence will encourage self-government. Which, after all, is what we work so hard at teaching our children each day of their lives.
There is no greater gift we can give our children than an environment where self-government is taught, because the greatest battle any of us fight in this life is the battle of choosing to follow the heart over following the body. People who learn to master themselves, can lead others to do the same; which is the essence of greatness in this world.
I don't know about you, but that is what I want for my children.Back Talking Cure
By Nicholeen Peck Notify me when this author publishesComment on Article
Email Author
Author Archive
Send To a Friend
Print Article Bookmark and Share
backTalkingBoyQuestion:
“How do you stop children from back talking?”
Answer:
Children talking back, or sassing, to their parents seems to be a behavior many children experiment with. At different phases of development feelings of independence and intelligence emerge causing kids to talk back.
Ironically, parents spend lots of energy reinforcing the intelligence of their children, and teaching the children how to think for themselves. If we spend so many years moving our child toward self-governing thoughts and behaviors, why do we care so much about back talking children and back talking teenagers?
Respect
Respect is a vital part of learning self-government. Without an attitude of respect the child or teenager is doomed to fail in life.
Successes in life are built upon successful relationships. Any sales person can tell you this. If a person trusts you and feels appreciated and respected by you, then they will give you more trust, more money, more affection, or more opportunity.
Respect is a feeling of trust, acceptance, mercy and love. Families are built on feelings like these. When a parent feels respected she will happily serve a child more and be more willing to sacrifice for the happiness of the child.
Likewise, if a parent feels disrespect from the child, she will naturally become more controlling and negative toward the child.
Naturally, children offer similar positive and negative rewards to parents who treat them with disrespect. It is imperative that we understand there is a difference between good traditional strict parenting based on solid principles and calm communication, and disrespectful parenting manifested by feelings of disapproval, contention, superiority, and lack of understanding.
Respect is a feeling!
Aesop Knows Best
“The Blind Man And The Whelp”
A blind man was accustomed to distinguish different animals by touching them with his hands. The whelp of a wolf was brought him, with a request that he would feel it, and say what it was. He felt it and being in doubt said, “I do not quite know whether is is the cub of a fox, or the help of a wolf; but this I know full well, that it would not be safe to admit him into the sheepfold.
The Heart Of Respect
At the heart of all behavior problems such as kids talking back, there is a selfish heart. This heart can be felt,even if the child is trying to deny the problem. Just as the blind man could feel the danger of allowing the pup he held in his hands into a sheepfold, we also feel the selfish heart of the child talking back and know the home environment is not safe.
Since a selfish heart is at the heart of the back talking problem, that is the first place to focus our energies in order to stop the back talking.
This issue with back talking is never about what is said, it is about what is felt. So, as a parent, the first thing to remember is that when a child is talking back, never acknowledge the words being said. The child is attempting to initiate a power struggle, which means you need to have enough self-government not to power struggle back. Hearts rarely change in the middle of an argument.
Before you say anything, make sure you check the way you feel. Focus your energy on letting your heart speak to their heart. Practice speaking with love, understanding, and truth.
How To Stop Back Talking
Focus on your tone, and on reaching their heart.
Never talk back to a back talker.
Have negative consequences for back talking and do a proper correction.
Teach your child how to disagree appropriately before back talking is an issue (proactive parenting is always better than reactive parenting)
Praise your child for choosing to disagree appropriately.
Disagreeing Appropriately
Stephen Covey says, “Seek to understand, then to be understood.” This principle, if understood in childhood, can create an assertive person who is likely to have many leadership positions and successful relationships.
To properly disagree appropriately to parents, a child should announce his intentions by saying, “May I disagree appropriately?”
Understanding parents always say, “yes” to such an inquiry.
Then the youth proceeds to say what he “understands” about what the other person is feeling. After he shows he respects the parent enough to understand where they are coming from, then he shares his perspective of a decision or situation, and his desire for a different decision to be made by the parent.
This straight forward, yet humble, approach to disagreeing unites parents and children instead of engaging them in relationship destroying power struggles like standard, selfish disagreements tend to do.
The Positive Consequence
After a child sees that when he disagrees appropriately he often gets his way, he sees there is an attractive positive consequence for choosing to respect his parents; increased personal freedom. Getting your way is a kind of freedom which shows that the parent trusts the child.
When a child feels real trust he is more likely to repeat the respectful behavior which helped him earn that trust. Then the beginning of a respectful relationship is born.
It is important that parents remember the point of parenting is to build a long lasting respectful relationship. The point isn't how many cookies a person has had, or what time they go to bed. So, if you take the time to teach your child to disagree appropriately, then make sure they see it often works. This positive consequence will encourage self-government. Which, after all, is what we work so hard at teaching our children each day of their lives.
There is no greater gift we can give our children than an environment where self-government is taught, because the greatest battle any of us fight in this life is the battle of choosing to follow the heart over following the body. People who learn to master themselves, can lead others to do the same; which is the essence of greatness in this world.
I don't know about you, but that is what I want for my children.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
in response to having a nephew send anti LDS stuff to our family
When Ray told me that Jacobs email went to Brinn and Rochelle, I realized that I needed to be sure that my witness was also sent to them (and you all). to be sure that you all have at least an opportunity to read my witness to the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ as taught in his restored church. I realized that for me to assume that all of you know the things I know and feel, is a wrong assumption. Whether you read any or all of what I share is entirely up to you, but I will have at least done my part.
I am interested in what positive things others have to say about what they believe has had good effects on their life, especially concerning Jesus Christ. What good things such a belief has wrought in their lives and choices, along with what supports they have found for the beliefs. I want to be as open to more truth, from whatever source, as I hope people are to what I have to share.
However, I think for someone to send negative stuff to others--- specifically directed against the others personal faith---, is not a very Christian act, unless there is imminent danger (like the Jones cult) or that is leading them to break the 10 commandments etc. If you are fearful for them, ask THEM ab out your fears, and look at the fruits of their faith, or talk to members in good standing, check non biased historical facts etc. Check out on the web “FAIR LDS” for answers to anti, & I have lots of books too.
In the Bible, I believe Jesus did not denounce the Samaritans, but made one the hero of a parable. I do nor remember (help me out if you find something?) where Jesus or the apostles spoke so much against others doctrines, as against their ACTIONS, and then it was usually when their OWN group was breaking the commandments, that they were called to repentance. The apostles were to go and preach THEIR gospel, but I don't see where they were to rip on others.
If something is the best, and we let others know, they will gravitate to it as they come to see it better than what they have, but the more we denounce others, the harder they will hold on to what they have. What terrible things do others who fight against the church think LDS are doing? What commandments are we teaching others to break? Saul thought he was doing right to persecute the Saints too, as he thought they had corrupted the Jewish faith.
When I went to bed last night, I was assuming that the reason I didn't receive any of email from Jacob was, that he was aware that showering me with anti garbage was a waste of time. I just didn't feel like digging through the negative stuff as I have spent much of my life already doing that and so far it has just been the same “pile of poo”, with maybe a few new blobs, but they seem to come from the same source (Satan), smell as bad and have the same basic substance.
Also it seems, to continue with my allegory, that much of the contents in the negative propaganda I have dealt with, (ripping down LDS and other churches) was never anything new and enriching to start with, but worse than non food, being more like alcohol or tobacco, which was never meant for the belly, though some “consume” such and get physically/emotionally addicted to it which can ruin their lives, here and hereafter if they don't seek to be healed. There is no need to for instance consume red wine to get the good effect of the whole fresh red grapes, as all that is good can begotten without the alcohol produced from turning it into wine.
Such to me is how I think we can go to the scriptures and to God in the teachings of the church for the truth. Yes, we are to seek for good (article of faith 13) but when something comes claiming to be good, but to the very beginning, it is adulterated with anti-- no reason to continue, in my view. Love to all, and may we all make the best choices possible. Gramajane
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Later, after giving our talks. ( whew)
I do feel like my prayers were answered, and I am more than satisfied that I was helped to give my talk better than I could have done it alone. I am sooooo glad it is over though.
My dear husband said I did a great job, (though maybe he is a little prejudiced in my favor) but I know he appreciated that I didn't take (he said) one second over my 1/2 of the time.
One father father of five commented to me that his kids were riveted as they listened. Another person came and told us we did awesome, and we should go be professional speech givers. It is gratifying to have people make so many good comments to me. I need to remember to do that when I especially like anothers' talk.
Several said that my talk made them think, and they really appreciated that. I did ask questions, (rhetorical I think is the word) as I didn't need them to answer me. Some said that they loved our talks and were especially glad we didn't read them.
I forgot to mention that if any one wanted more embellishment, etc to come check out my blog. Well, I left out a LOT that I had put on my distilled down one page, but I knew I needed to cut it down at least 1/2 more than than, which did happen it felt naturally (with Heavens' help).
I added a few things that popped into my mind, like that we did have communication with home from our boarding school (which I had said earlier was a little like our Hogworths) but not by any owls delivering messaged, but by something more powerful than a cell phone, as it didn't need to be recharged with electricity, --- humm that isn't quite how I said it, but then, I'm not being helped right now. Anyway then I said something about being connected to the source of all power, God.
Anyway-- I'm glad it "came to pass". It is interesting that as we lived here for the most part of our married life, the most talks I have given have been here, though the building only had the first phase when we first moved here, so part was at the smaller podium in what is now the Primary room.
Oh, several times the Doctrine and Covenants teacher referred back to Rays talk. He did his usual awesome job too, and related 3 stories. One of his mission about a dream he had then about his use of time, which was symbolized by a yard stick of the day, marked with black areas for wasted time and white for the best use, then all the dark was pushes to one side and he was appalled that he had wasted so much (sleep time was black too), then he told how he figured ways to better use his time, like he made flash cards of scriptures to memorize as he rode on the bus and walked etc.
He told stories from his commercial fishing, about choosing to do better as he had a change of heart, from twice within one hour of great frustration, using the Lords name in vain, and pleased that he had never done it again in the 55 years since.
HE told about feeling bad as he had been somewhat rude to a dental hygienist who each year hurt him so bad when he got his teeth cleaned by her, that he went prologize but she was with another client, so he went home and timed exactly how long it took to floss his teeth (32 seconds) and decided to floss the whole year till his next apt. He did that and with one glance in his mouth she pulled back and exclaimed "you've been flossing" and then he apologized and they both got tears in their eyes. That he was never hurt so bad again, either from naturally not having so much to scrap off his teeth, or she was more gentile, he was not sure.
I was so happy for Ray, and he had no such stress over his talk as I did over mine but it was funny, as he admitted that he was determined after I had kept my talk so perfectly in the allotted time, to do the same and that clock watching made him a little awkward.
It was cute though as the sister who leads the hymns said that it was ironic that he stopped right on time, while she wouldn't have minded if he went a whole hour over as he was so interesting to listen to.
My dear husband said I did a great job, (though maybe he is a little prejudiced in my favor) but I know he appreciated that I didn't take (he said) one second over my 1/2 of the time.
One father father of five commented to me that his kids were riveted as they listened. Another person came and told us we did awesome, and we should go be professional speech givers. It is gratifying to have people make so many good comments to me. I need to remember to do that when I especially like anothers' talk.
Several said that my talk made them think, and they really appreciated that. I did ask questions, (rhetorical I think is the word) as I didn't need them to answer me. Some said that they loved our talks and were especially glad we didn't read them.
I forgot to mention that if any one wanted more embellishment, etc to come check out my blog. Well, I left out a LOT that I had put on my distilled down one page, but I knew I needed to cut it down at least 1/2 more than than, which did happen it felt naturally (with Heavens' help).
I added a few things that popped into my mind, like that we did have communication with home from our boarding school (which I had said earlier was a little like our Hogworths) but not by any owls delivering messaged, but by something more powerful than a cell phone, as it didn't need to be recharged with electricity, --- humm that isn't quite how I said it, but then, I'm not being helped right now. Anyway then I said something about being connected to the source of all power, God.
Anyway-- I'm glad it "came to pass". It is interesting that as we lived here for the most part of our married life, the most talks I have given have been here, though the building only had the first phase when we first moved here, so part was at the smaller podium in what is now the Primary room.
Oh, several times the Doctrine and Covenants teacher referred back to Rays talk. He did his usual awesome job too, and related 3 stories. One of his mission about a dream he had then about his use of time, which was symbolized by a yard stick of the day, marked with black areas for wasted time and white for the best use, then all the dark was pushes to one side and he was appalled that he had wasted so much (sleep time was black too), then he told how he figured ways to better use his time, like he made flash cards of scriptures to memorize as he rode on the bus and walked etc.
He told stories from his commercial fishing, about choosing to do better as he had a change of heart, from twice within one hour of great frustration, using the Lords name in vain, and pleased that he had never done it again in the 55 years since.
HE told about feeling bad as he had been somewhat rude to a dental hygienist who each year hurt him so bad when he got his teeth cleaned by her, that he went prologize but she was with another client, so he went home and timed exactly how long it took to floss his teeth (32 seconds) and decided to floss the whole year till his next apt. He did that and with one glance in his mouth she pulled back and exclaimed "you've been flossing" and then he apologized and they both got tears in their eyes. That he was never hurt so bad again, either from naturally not having so much to scrap off his teeth, or she was more gentile, he was not sure.
I was so happy for Ray, and he had no such stress over his talk as I did over mine but it was funny, as he admitted that he was determined after I had kept my talk so perfectly in the allotted time, to do the same and that clock watching made him a little awkward.
It was cute though as the sister who leads the hymns said that it was ironic that he stopped right on time, while she wouldn't have minded if he went a whole hour over as he was so interesting to listen to.
still more
So, one analogy I put on my list was about the long time ago TV program. They took two couples, and had them race in a grocery store to see which team could bring to the check out, the groceries that would total more than their competitor, as the couple that won, would get to keep the food, (free) and could resell it if they wished.
It was fun to plan what I would do, and try to think what was worth the most and could be gathered with the most speed etc. Learning to work with a partner, and to keep focused etc is important. This also seems to apply to the purpose of life in some ways too-- but of course not perfectly.
I also thought about a vacation to Disneyland as an analogy to this life, that if one knew they would get to go with their family, and depending on the age and situation of their children, what training would need to be given to the children so they would not get lost, and they could make the best use of their time in Disneyland without melt downs from hot, tired, sore muscles, hungry, thirsty, overwhelm etc. as I have seen happen to some families. Sadly some parents would then get angry and demand their children enjoy themselves! Sheeish!
So planning not just for how fast the money will go, (do we bring food with us or spend $ on the very expensive food they have there, but planning for rest stops, for bathroom breaks etc. Having a map, and talking it over with the children to see what things are most important to them to do, as there usually is not time to do it all or to repeat the same events etc. Making use of the map, to find what is close to what, so one is not walking from one side of the park to the other back and forth etc. Planning with the kids what to do if they get separated from the family! Helping them know how to recognize who they should go to for help (part of the trust thing)- what the helpers uniforms look like in this case, or go to a food stand etc.
In life it is much the same as we need to prepare our children for the time they will no longer be with us, but will need to take care of their own needs. Help them learn to learn, and know that they can do what is necessary, and many hard things they can endure, as they HAVE learned to work at our sides. Learn to enjoy the great feeling of getting an important work down well and on time. What great joy!
brings me to *** packing for our trip of a lifetime ***
Here we need to prioritize and plan. "if ye are prepared, ye need not fear" So we need to visualize what things we might encounter in the place we are going,and maybe even extend that to in case the airplane gets diverted to a different destination from some emergency?
What is the thing my husband and I have come to realize that we MOST want to bring with us anytime we leave the house or even the room? Did you guess "cell phone?", then you are right. To be able to communicate with each other and our loved ones, to be able to see the phones GPS, call for help, look up info etc. And along with the cell phone, we have learned it is best to take a multi use charger, for the car or for a regular electrical outlet-- or the phone dies and is of not much use!
There is something to me that is way better than any cell phone anyone will ever invent (though there sure are a lot of neat things out!) as this communicator does not need to be recharged with electricity (( though connecting to the source at least once a day helps)) and it puts me in connection with the best info in this world and out of it, along with warning me of dangers etc! It is the miracle of prayer! (did you guess that?) which we can do anywhere, silently or aloud, and know that God will hear us and answer our prayers, though sometimes the answer is no, or not yet.
So-- too, we can improve our "reception" by reading our scriptures and not getting surrounded by things that block that reception (bad places) or getting virus in our works (porn etc) -- there is a lot that can relate in this analogy.
So-- too, we can improve our "reception" by reading our scriptures and not getting surrounded by things that block that reception (bad places) or getting virus in our works (porn etc) -- there is a lot that can relate in this analogy.
So just as one needs to learn how to work a new cell phone, one also needs to be trained in prayer. Hopefully ASAP after birth or before!-- with the parents praying for the baby before it is born, and with the baby in their arms for family prayer each night and morning, and talking about their answers they have had from prayer. To be able to decipher the signals from the Holy Ghost, to recognize the feelings/promptings of yes answers, or danger etc. Most people are not blessed with this training in their families, but it is available for those who seek it, in the organization that God has set up to help his children return to their home in heaven, his Church.
Plus there is helpful information many other places, but some is not as accurate, so a person needs to keep seeking, with keeping an open mind, knowing that God hasn't moved away from us, and will always want to communicate with us, but the problem is on our side. Especially if sadly we think "God has ceased to speak to man" then I doubt we would be looking for that, and are then WAY less likely to accept if we find it is supposedly happening to others, true?
So-- from my notes-- a book came to mind, I think the title was something like;
"what I needed to know in life, I learned in Kindergarten" ?
Actually, hopefully the most important things are learned before kindergarten! First out of the womb would be "Trust", then communication (first crying), and feeding, and then learning to watch and learn from what we see and hear. Learning to control our bodies and our appetites and passions. Learning to wait and to share. Learning to respect others bodies and things. Learning to clean ourselves (for health and society) with cleaning our surroundings for health, (little children can pick up toys themselves) safety and to save time so things don't get lost or broken etc.
Learning an attitude of Gratitude, as I said earlier is also mega important to help us have a can do attitude and not a victim attitude. Learning to read, and write and the value of money, to ask for help when needed and to dress appropriately for not only weather for modesty etc too. Learning should be a life time occupation!
So, in packing a suitcase, we need to consider as I said above, where we are going, what we will do there, what we can get there instead of taking with us, what to wear, will there be a way to clean our clothes or how long will we be gone so need to take enough etc etc. Among these things then we need to see how to pack them safely.
When one packs, or plans a trip or just a day-- don't we need to consider the most important and the largest time/space users first? Then on down the line, to what we can fit in the last few spaces. Isn't this like our time? When we have less time or space then don't we need to plan the MOST carefully?
Along with planning trips, is finding out what might be something different there that you are not aware of that might be unpleasant or even life threatening? Like chiggers in the Eastern US, or alligators that can hide in a seemingly shallow puddle?? Sometimes the most important thing is to ask God, what is most important!
So, I am needing another break, as I started this around 4am and not it is almost 8am. I think writing it has helped, but I still have more work to do to distill it WAYYYYY down. (God help me!). Gramajane
It was fun to plan what I would do, and try to think what was worth the most and could be gathered with the most speed etc. Learning to work with a partner, and to keep focused etc is important. This also seems to apply to the purpose of life in some ways too-- but of course not perfectly.
I also thought about a vacation to Disneyland as an analogy to this life, that if one knew they would get to go with their family, and depending on the age and situation of their children, what training would need to be given to the children so they would not get lost, and they could make the best use of their time in Disneyland without melt downs from hot, tired, sore muscles, hungry, thirsty, overwhelm etc. as I have seen happen to some families. Sadly some parents would then get angry and demand their children enjoy themselves! Sheeish!
So planning not just for how fast the money will go, (do we bring food with us or spend $ on the very expensive food they have there, but planning for rest stops, for bathroom breaks etc. Having a map, and talking it over with the children to see what things are most important to them to do, as there usually is not time to do it all or to repeat the same events etc. Making use of the map, to find what is close to what, so one is not walking from one side of the park to the other back and forth etc. Planning with the kids what to do if they get separated from the family! Helping them know how to recognize who they should go to for help (part of the trust thing)- what the helpers uniforms look like in this case, or go to a food stand etc.
In life it is much the same as we need to prepare our children for the time they will no longer be with us, but will need to take care of their own needs. Help them learn to learn, and know that they can do what is necessary, and many hard things they can endure, as they HAVE learned to work at our sides. Learn to enjoy the great feeling of getting an important work down well and on time. What great joy!
brings me to *** packing for our trip of a lifetime ***
Here we need to prioritize and plan. "if ye are prepared, ye need not fear" So we need to visualize what things we might encounter in the place we are going,and maybe even extend that to in case the airplane gets diverted to a different destination from some emergency?
What is the thing my husband and I have come to realize that we MOST want to bring with us anytime we leave the house or even the room? Did you guess "cell phone?", then you are right. To be able to communicate with each other and our loved ones, to be able to see the phones GPS, call for help, look up info etc. And along with the cell phone, we have learned it is best to take a multi use charger, for the car or for a regular electrical outlet-- or the phone dies and is of not much use!
There is something to me that is way better than any cell phone anyone will ever invent (though there sure are a lot of neat things out!) as this communicator does not need to be recharged with electricity (( though connecting to the source at least once a day helps)) and it puts me in connection with the best info in this world and out of it, along with warning me of dangers etc! It is the miracle of prayer! (did you guess that?) which we can do anywhere, silently or aloud, and know that God will hear us and answer our prayers, though sometimes the answer is no, or not yet.
So-- too, we can improve our "reception" by reading our scriptures and not getting surrounded by things that block that reception (bad places) or getting virus in our works (porn etc) -- there is a lot that can relate in this analogy.
So-- too, we can improve our "reception" by reading our scriptures and not getting surrounded by things that block that reception (bad places) or getting virus in our works (porn etc) -- there is a lot that can relate in this analogy.
So just as one needs to learn how to work a new cell phone, one also needs to be trained in prayer. Hopefully ASAP after birth or before!-- with the parents praying for the baby before it is born, and with the baby in their arms for family prayer each night and morning, and talking about their answers they have had from prayer. To be able to decipher the signals from the Holy Ghost, to recognize the feelings/promptings of yes answers, or danger etc. Most people are not blessed with this training in their families, but it is available for those who seek it, in the organization that God has set up to help his children return to their home in heaven, his Church.
Plus there is helpful information many other places, but some is not as accurate, so a person needs to keep seeking, with keeping an open mind, knowing that God hasn't moved away from us, and will always want to communicate with us, but the problem is on our side. Especially if sadly we think "God has ceased to speak to man" then I doubt we would be looking for that, and are then WAY less likely to accept if we find it is supposedly happening to others, true?
So-- from my notes-- a book came to mind, I think the title was something like;
"what I needed to know in life, I learned in Kindergarten" ?
Actually, hopefully the most important things are learned before kindergarten! First out of the womb would be "Trust", then communication (first crying), and feeding, and then learning to watch and learn from what we see and hear. Learning to control our bodies and our appetites and passions. Learning to wait and to share. Learning to respect others bodies and things. Learning to clean ourselves (for health and society) with cleaning our surroundings for health, (little children can pick up toys themselves) safety and to save time so things don't get lost or broken etc.
Learning an attitude of Gratitude, as I said earlier is also mega important to help us have a can do attitude and not a victim attitude. Learning to read, and write and the value of money, to ask for help when needed and to dress appropriately for not only weather for modesty etc too. Learning should be a life time occupation!
So, in packing a suitcase, we need to consider as I said above, where we are going, what we will do there, what we can get there instead of taking with us, what to wear, will there be a way to clean our clothes or how long will we be gone so need to take enough etc etc. Among these things then we need to see how to pack them safely.
When one packs, or plans a trip or just a day-- don't we need to consider the most important and the largest time/space users first? Then on down the line, to what we can fit in the last few spaces. Isn't this like our time? When we have less time or space then don't we need to plan the MOST carefully?
Along with planning trips, is finding out what might be something different there that you are not aware of that might be unpleasant or even life threatening? Like chiggers in the Eastern US, or alligators that can hide in a seemingly shallow puddle?? Sometimes the most important thing is to ask God, what is most important!
So, I am needing another break, as I started this around 4am and not it is almost 8am. I think writing it has helped, but I still have more work to do to distill it WAYYYYY down. (God help me!). Gramajane
continuing on with the talk material to distil FAST
So, in the scriptures I just posted, I feel that it applies to the topic, as it is about what was most important for them, and it again is about what the gospel means which distills down to the answers to Why am I here, Where did I come from and Where am I going,-- which are the most important things for EVERYONE to know, and why sharing them would be most important.
Remembering again, that the ones who asked, were I believe single men, missionary age?
I believe some of the main things were came to earth to learn were:
to trust God, and obey his commandments which will lead us to the most happiness
and include getting married and having a family (one of the first commandments that God gave to Adam and Even ((whom I believe he married)) in the Garden of Eden, to multiply.
And that it is a committed marriage, using correct principles of respect,love etc, that we can learn and experience best the things we need to in this life, along with having a helpmeet to develop our talents etc.
I sure know having children lets you know what patience you thought you had was mostly an illusion, as we certainly get tested by our children ;0 but we are not likely to work to develop better what we already think we have mastered. Right?
Which reasoning with the scriptures, is why I also love missionary work, which is helping others to know what is most important (the answers to the questions) so they can get on with their lives.
So if our eternal goal is to become more like Jesus Christ, who led the way in becoming more like his Father, which is what the scriptures also command us to do "Be ye therefore perfect, even as I, or your Father in Heaven is perfect" but that is not to overwhelm us with how impossible that feels, as I understand in Hebrew the word perfect relates to "whole, or complete" not that we have to be perfect in every jot and tittle on the earth now. :)
So, Back to the list of notes
(maybe you can see why I have felt overwhelmed to be able to distill all this down into 15 min or less? umm-- yeah!)
is a list of things a person makes that they would like to do before they die (kick the bucket) and how important might it be that the list have relation to the eternities and not to just this world? Big to me! (though I do hope that I will get to learn to ride a horse when it is running at least once on this earth ;) but there are other things I want a LOT -- humongous LOT more! ((besides, that right might bring me out of this life sooner than I had intended- true?))
George MacDonald, who is my all time favorite author, said (among MEGA other great things) to "do that which is before you". In other words, that when we keep doing what we see as most important in the present, that we don't need to worry about the future so very much, as planning for the future might be one of the things just before us (after I wash the dishes ? ;)
I certainly do think better when everything around me is clean and organized.
So, what would I do "If Jesus stood beside me" ? or What wouldn't I do too? That ought to help in choosing what priorities there are. Hopefully I would not waste time, and certainly I wouldn't do anything I would be embarrassed for Jesus to see or know I was doing?
I thought about that the other day, in a conversation with a grown woman who saw nothing wrong with watching bedroom scenes on TV. My thought was, would she do that if the view was not through a TV screen, but through a bedroom window? (I doubt it) and as I doubt it is necessary or even good, to have that direct info about things that should be sacred/intimate-- I do not think God would want us to view others. --- Though I think, just as parents can be happy to see their children go off after their marriage on their honeymoon, and pray that they work things out happily, I do not doubt that God is pleased with a husband and wife,obeying his command to multiply etc. Though I also doubt that he would feel a need to have anyone view it.
So, some things in this life can be avoided to help us, just as some things can be enjoyed within proper boundaries set by God. :) Even eating healthy food can be bad for you if you eat way more than you need most of the time!
So next on my notes list-- One way to set goals is to look at our roles, and the "time and season" of our lives. Right now I have still some same roles, as a daughter of God, a member of my birth family, a wife to my husband, a mother to my family (this role has lessened a GREAT deal as the next came into play) a grandmother to my grandchildren. A neighbor to the world, starting with those close to me and working out (the rings of responsibility here) and so to all the world. :) who are all brothers and sisters and all are spirit children of God.
In being a grandmother, I think (hope) it is less important that I remember each of our 17 grand children's birthdays with a card and a gift (though that is one way to let them know I remember and care for them, but there are many love languages. I think it is most important for them to know that they are loved by me (and many outside of their little family) and that we trust that they will make good decisions and will still love them when they make their mistakes, as God does us.
Remembering again, that the ones who asked, were I believe single men, missionary age?
I believe some of the main things were came to earth to learn were:
to trust God, and obey his commandments which will lead us to the most happiness
and include getting married and having a family (one of the first commandments that God gave to Adam and Even ((whom I believe he married)) in the Garden of Eden, to multiply.
And that it is a committed marriage, using correct principles of respect,love etc, that we can learn and experience best the things we need to in this life, along with having a helpmeet to develop our talents etc.
I sure know having children lets you know what patience you thought you had was mostly an illusion, as we certainly get tested by our children ;0 but we are not likely to work to develop better what we already think we have mastered. Right?
Which reasoning with the scriptures, is why I also love missionary work, which is helping others to know what is most important (the answers to the questions) so they can get on with their lives.
So if our eternal goal is to become more like Jesus Christ, who led the way in becoming more like his Father, which is what the scriptures also command us to do "Be ye therefore perfect, even as I, or your Father in Heaven is perfect" but that is not to overwhelm us with how impossible that feels, as I understand in Hebrew the word perfect relates to "whole, or complete" not that we have to be perfect in every jot and tittle on the earth now. :)
So, Back to the list of notes
(maybe you can see why I have felt overwhelmed to be able to distill all this down into 15 min or less? umm-- yeah!)
is a list of things a person makes that they would like to do before they die (kick the bucket) and how important might it be that the list have relation to the eternities and not to just this world? Big to me! (though I do hope that I will get to learn to ride a horse when it is running at least once on this earth ;) but there are other things I want a LOT -- humongous LOT more! ((besides, that right might bring me out of this life sooner than I had intended- true?))
George MacDonald, who is my all time favorite author, said (among MEGA other great things) to "do that which is before you". In other words, that when we keep doing what we see as most important in the present, that we don't need to worry about the future so very much, as planning for the future might be one of the things just before us (after I wash the dishes ? ;)
I certainly do think better when everything around me is clean and organized.
So, what would I do "If Jesus stood beside me" ? or What wouldn't I do too? That ought to help in choosing what priorities there are. Hopefully I would not waste time, and certainly I wouldn't do anything I would be embarrassed for Jesus to see or know I was doing?
I thought about that the other day, in a conversation with a grown woman who saw nothing wrong with watching bedroom scenes on TV. My thought was, would she do that if the view was not through a TV screen, but through a bedroom window? (I doubt it) and as I doubt it is necessary or even good, to have that direct info about things that should be sacred/intimate-- I do not think God would want us to view others. --- Though I think, just as parents can be happy to see their children go off after their marriage on their honeymoon, and pray that they work things out happily, I do not doubt that God is pleased with a husband and wife,obeying his command to multiply etc. Though I also doubt that he would feel a need to have anyone view it.
So, some things in this life can be avoided to help us, just as some things can be enjoyed within proper boundaries set by God. :) Even eating healthy food can be bad for you if you eat way more than you need most of the time!
So next on my notes list-- One way to set goals is to look at our roles, and the "time and season" of our lives. Right now I have still some same roles, as a daughter of God, a member of my birth family, a wife to my husband, a mother to my family (this role has lessened a GREAT deal as the next came into play) a grandmother to my grandchildren. A neighbor to the world, starting with those close to me and working out (the rings of responsibility here) and so to all the world. :) who are all brothers and sisters and all are spirit children of God.
In being a grandmother, I think (hope) it is less important that I remember each of our 17 grand children's birthdays with a card and a gift (though that is one way to let them know I remember and care for them, but there are many love languages. I think it is most important for them to know that they are loved by me (and many outside of their little family) and that we trust that they will make good decisions and will still love them when they make their mistakes, as God does us.
what a challenge to distil all this into 15 min!
So, three min later-- I'm back, and still praying in my heart!
so I think I'll look back at my notes and continue from there, as maybe if I, or AS I, talk/write about the things I felt were important enough to put in my notes, I will be able to feel what is MORE important to put in the talk this morning. I pray so!!!
So in LDS scriptures, in the Doctrine and Covenants, Section 15 and 16
(I am able to remember the references as they are important teen age years ;)
there are scriptures that relate quite well to this topic. They are very short, and though contrary to what one might expect to be possible, they are both almost word for word the same. It was for two (if I remember right, single men?) who apparently were both concerned about the same thing, and prayed to God over it and were given these two chapters in answer. Wow-- If I were Joseph Smith, I would be scratching my head, wondering if I were receiving inspiration right to get practically duplicates, but apparently it was right as they totally accepted it!
Anyway- I think I will divert so see if I can copy just one of them to paste in here, as it seems the right thing to do.
"Section 15
Revelation given through Joseph Smith the Prophet to John Whitmer, at Fayette, New York, June 1829 (see History of the Church, 1:50; see also the heading to section 14). The message is intimately and impressively personal in that the Lord tells of what was known only to John Whitmer and himself. John Whitmer later became one of the Eight Witnesses to the Book of Mormon.
1–2, The Lord’s arm is over all the earth; 3–6, To preach the gospel and save souls is the thing of most worth.
1 Hearken, my servant John, and listen to the words of Jesus Christ, your Lord and your Redeemer.
2 For behold, I speak unto you with sharpness and with power, for mine arm is over all the earth.
3 And I will tell you that which no man knoweth save me and thee alone—
4 For many times you have desired of me to know that which would be of the most worth unto you.
5 Behold, blessed are you for this thing, and for speaking my words which I have given you according to my commandments.
6 And now, behold, I say unto you, that the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring csouls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my Father. Amen.
so I think I'll look back at my notes and continue from there, as maybe if I, or AS I, talk/write about the things I felt were important enough to put in my notes, I will be able to feel what is MORE important to put in the talk this morning. I pray so!!!
So in LDS scriptures, in the Doctrine and Covenants, Section 15 and 16
(I am able to remember the references as they are important teen age years ;)
there are scriptures that relate quite well to this topic. They are very short, and though contrary to what one might expect to be possible, they are both almost word for word the same. It was for two (if I remember right, single men?) who apparently were both concerned about the same thing, and prayed to God over it and were given these two chapters in answer. Wow-- If I were Joseph Smith, I would be scratching my head, wondering if I were receiving inspiration right to get practically duplicates, but apparently it was right as they totally accepted it!
Anyway- I think I will divert so see if I can copy just one of them to paste in here, as it seems the right thing to do.
"Section 15
Revelation given through Joseph Smith the Prophet to John Whitmer, at Fayette, New York, June 1829 (see History of the Church, 1:50; see also the heading to section 14). The message is intimately and impressively personal in that the Lord tells of what was known only to John Whitmer and himself. John Whitmer later became one of the Eight Witnesses to the Book of Mormon.
1–2, The Lord’s arm is over all the earth; 3–6, To preach the gospel and save souls is the thing of most worth.
1 Hearken, my servant John, and listen to the words of Jesus Christ, your Lord and your Redeemer.
2 For behold, I speak unto you with sharpness and with power, for mine arm is over all the earth.
3 And I will tell you that which no man knoweth save me and thee alone—
4 For many times you have desired of me to know that which would be of the most worth unto you.
5 Behold, blessed are you for this thing, and for speaking my words which I have given you according to my commandments.
6 And now, behold, I say unto you, that the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring csouls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my Father. Amen.
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