Epifinay this morning of wether to go to AK or not

It started as I have lately felt so stalled/stuck/unmotivated/undirected as it seemed life was happening TO me, and that I didn't get to choose, but just kept being dragged along willy/nilly.

-- which THAT then caused me depression- helpless- hopeless and so frustrated-- trying to downsize "things" (sell property etc) and get back to basics, learn to be more self reliant, and produce what we need to live on, but things aren't selling etc. Even with having signed real estate papers to sell -- found the co had yet to write them up accurately and get them online, while I was feeling so desperate, I was ready to drop the price already as no offers yet!

So as I escaped into reading, feeling that I didn't want to DO anything of the things on my lists that I "should do" etc as it seemed they were probably just a waste of time, and we would
loose this home anyway- or rental 'guests' would destroy the things I was sharing, and disrupt the organization I created, while I wouldn't be here to re-organize nor had the money to hire others to.

Then of course I felt even WORSE- useless, wasted etc
(sure a good thing I don't drink or do drugs to escape!)

So waking this morning in the wee hours and unable to go back to sleep-- I thought maybe I wasn't asking myself the right questions- for this time?

How could I get the right answers to my problems, if I didn't have the right questions to start with???

So- that started me thinking about what was 'clutter' and what was really essential (with SOME few things for joy too ;)

I have come to this conclusion-- to ask these questions-- like even if it is something in my house, ( a lamp, a tool, a piece of furniture, a costume etc)

-------------------------------- the questions-- ---- in several forms ;0

Is this _____ helping or hindering me?
Does it make me happy- (not just fun- but celestial joy type happy)
Is it bringing me closer to God, or getting in the way?
Will this help my (and others) eternal progress or waste my time?

Isn't a "time waster" the ultimate cheat of life? Isn't "time" all we really have- that we can't regain or add to once it is gone?

Soooo- what is my work, my PURPOSE in life?
-- isn't it to do that good which is before me?
If Gods' work is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" -- then isn't mine to support that?
How is that done?
Isn't that what Jesus told his apostles to do?
Preach the gospel to all the world
(bring everyone to know Jesus Christ and get to choose to follow him or not?)
-- Soooo then how does that involve me?
My dear husband isn't ready (finances hang up) to go on a couple mission yet. He feels we need to fish commercially to get out of debt.
Still I can be a member missionary- a cyber missionary
---- A N D ---- what about the people who have died without knowing the Lord, or having the essential ordinance of baptism?
--- I promised my Father as he was dying that I would work to get his ancestors names, so we could get their baptisms done (baptism for the dead that only the reestablished gospel of Jesus Christ does) and their temple work done (marriages sealed and children sealed to them for time and all eternity).

NOW THIS feels like important work I can help with!

If I go on our commercial fishing boat to AK with my dear husband as he wants me to, what will my work be there? I'm a 62 year old grandmother- and just not up to hauling fish on board etc!

Yet, IF we have the internet, I can do family history and missionary work! :) I can stay connected with our kids too and even SKYPE!

Most important is what you LEARN, not what you earn

Still struggling with the finances here,
our year plus investment in commercial fishing boat now up for sale but no offers yet
( I'm feeling like the sharks are circling the raft-- but we are ok "today".

and I need to remember that we came here to learn and grow through trials
-- but I never wanted to be a giantess! ;)
I don't care for playing basketball--
(doing which I cracked the only bone in my body which has been damaged-- so far)

so, we do still have some more assets we could put up for sale, though my husband is totally against offering the home we are living in, while I would rather live in our old 5th wheel, and KNOW we were out of debt

When we try to open doors and they all seem locked,
we just must keep going down the hall way and trying the next door knob
but we can also check the windows- for opening and for inspiration from Gods sky. :)

"Some days are diamonds, some days are stone" from a John Denver song

I wish I had an infant to rock, which would comfort us both, as babies make the corners of my mouth turn up, even on days (months- years?) of trials.

I'm thankful for homeopathic remedies-- I just took a constitutional strength of Pulsitilla (sp?) which has helped so much in the past.

My sweetheart husband is three states away, working from dawn past dark, on fixing up the boat for a better chance to sell it though he REALLY wants to fish it again this summer. He got the trim paint on the wheel house and it looks great! (wish I knew how to get pictures on here).

He is a great guy, and I'm so lucky he wanted to marry me. :) Definitely my most happy thought but then it is harder when he is so far from me. Yet, I must remember that we are sealed as husband and wife for time and all eternity :). Earth life is just a blink of the eye in eternity they say.

(some days the earth seems to have a lazy eyelid!)

Still there are so many others that are in WAAAAAAYYYYY worse situations than me!
I have family who love me, I have the re-established gospel of Jesus Christ, which is so wonderful to know why I am here on earth, where I came from and where we go after death. ----

I do want to go to the highest degree of the celestial kingdom. Isn't it grand to know there are no limits to the number of mansions there? The only limits I know of are wither we will seek the path and stay on it, enduring to the end.

Sometimes one can feel like "enough already" though or "When will you make an end?"

This must be one of the lessons I am supposed to learn- patience and of course the BIG one that helps with that is TRUST in God. Yep, I'm being st reached there.

"Only one life,
Twill soon be past,
Only what's done for Christ will last.
'To me to live IS Christ' "

The above is a wall plaque that was left on the wall in a home we bought years and years ago. I have it right above this computer-- and it does help. :)

I am also thankful for George MacDonald books-- which help inspire me to be a better person, and have more faith. :) They are even great plots too! I like the unedited versions.

May we all be blessed to feel our Saviors love, and know his Fathers hand is working for our best good in even the trials of our lives, (especially in the trials!)
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

Trying to post a connection to service for the Savior

Purpose of all our lives?

To let us learn by experience to act as we really are, spiritual beings having an earthly experience. Yet there are good, better and best plus evil levils of being.
Evil -- steals from others
good-- provides for them selves
better-- gives some of theirs to others
best- shares with those who can't provide while
teaching others to provide for themselves and to continue this pattern.

Trials In life are our tests in learning to get better and better till we become best-
as much like Christ as we can.

Marriage is the ultimate test, where two are to become one-- treating each other with great respect and counseling together
not either insisting on their own way, but talking things over, looking at all the possible choices till they both feel good
about what they are to do. .
Not in anger -- listening kindly, sharing the speaking floor , working to see what the other sees. Neither should just give up to bullying for the sake of peace as if either one loses then the couple looses.
Spending wether of money or time is the very hardest test.
My sweetheart and I continue to work on this.

Working to get set up to better serve Jesus Christ

I am an Online Missionary

trying to make my blog better for any readers ; /

I'm trying to add some gadgets, but I am such a novice that it is a huge challenge!
please bare with me as I struggle along. :) Blessings!

the last 1/2 of the article- :)

# If it is really a need you can buy it then without guilt. Sit down as a family and set some self reliance goals. Children know children whose dad's have lost jobs, they see and hear about natural disasters. You are not protecting them when you fail to discuss challenges with them. They have attended Sacrament meetings and heard talks about self reliance. Include them

To actually write down a goal is a huge step toward attaining a goal

Begin with your goals for the year in several areas of self reliance: temporal, spiritual, educational, financial, and physical.

Once the family has agreed on the goals set shorter term goals, such as what you want to accomplish in 3 months. Now you are ready for shorter term goals, two weeks to one month.

* Create a plan you can follow, which all the family members have contributed to and can support.

* Plan to have at least one Family Home Evening each month devoted to one of your self reliance goals. Be sure to evaluate your progress at these meetings and if necessary, adjust your goals.

* Get extended family and friends on your team. Let them know this is important to your peace of mind and that you need and appreciate their support. Inform them that you have a list of items the family has decided to purchase, make or obtain during the next year and you would love to send them a copy of your list so they can consider the items as gifts or adopt some of your ideas for themselves.

Tell your friends and family that while you would love to take a trip with them this summer, you have decided to use your vacation money toward your goal. Tell them you have created a fund for specific, expensive items, such as a wheat grinder, tread mill, or emergency power generator, and tell them contributions toward these items would be as well appreciated as any other birthday gift. Remind them that "sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven".²

* Don't Panic! Remember no matter how bad the news gets the Lord is in charge and as Elder Ballard said: "Therefore, today we must be careful to not overreact, nor should we be caught up in extreme preparations; but what we must do is keep the commandments of God and
never lose hope!"

Families who are recommitted to self reliance in uncertain times, will have peace of mind, as well as the essentials they require for health, happiness, and prosperity in a troubled world.

________________

¹M. Russell Ballard, “The Joy of Hope Fulfilled,” Ensign, Nov 1992

² William W. Phelps "Praise to the Man"

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