This is an awesome article, that I am already benefiting from in facing the stresses in my life! My prayer is that it will help others too. :) Meridian Magazine Facing the New Year with Trust in the Lord By Darla Isackson “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever.” (2 Nephi 4:34) The year 2012 has brought unprecedented challenges--to me personally and to the world in general. Paul’s words seem appropriate: “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). Today I admit to distress, but my belief in God’s infinite loving careiskeeping me from despair. Pondering the pending New Year, I am glad I have no specific knowledge of what it might bring. Had I stood on the threshold of 2012 and been shown all at once what the world and I would have to deal with, it would have been supremely difficult to muster the courage to face it. However, “sufficient to the day is the evil thereof” and one day at a time, with the Lord’s help, 2012 has been a year rich in love and learning. Now, I’m reaching out for and claiming trust that whatever difficult things might happen in 2013, the Lord’s words to Joseph Smith in D&C 122:7 will apply to each of us: “all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” Unexpected Blessings One of the great compensations of my semi-invalid state this past year has been time to read and listen to inspiring fiction. Many of the series show the slow but amazing softening of people’s hearts over time through the refiner’s fire of difficult experiences. I’ve lived long enough to see this process in the lives of so many people I know. I’ve experienced it in my own life. Paul’s word’s capture the essence: And not only so, but we glory in tribulation also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:” (Romans 4: 3-4) Experience can bring us hope, because we see that if we persevere long enough, trust in the Lord long enough, God’s purposes begin to unfold in our lives in an unmistakable way. Anyone who considers suicide has likely not lived long enough or looked at life hard enough to recognize that inevitable unfolding process. Knowing this keeps us from giving up on each other or ourselves. I can trace throughout my life the Lord’s patient, loving care through all my foolishness and folly. Looking back on a rich but somewhat tempestuous life, I feel strongly the Lord’s watchful care and can say as did Nephi, “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.” So often it has been the scriptures that have pulled me back from the brink of despair and reminded me in whom I could trust. I love Isaiah’s words, “Fear thou not, for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10) My Will vs. “Thy Will Be Done” I know myself that those promises are faithful and true and give us every reason to trust in the Lord no matter what. The major obstacle I have found to trust is self-will--wanting things to “turn out” according to my own will, wanting to control what I can’t control. Sometimes it seems hard to trust when I just plain don’t want the hard things in my life to be happening. It is difficult to say “thy will be done” and set aside my nicely laid plans in favor of His. In Helaman 12:6 we read, “Behold, they do not desire that the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them; notwithstanding his great goodness and his mercy towards them, they do set at naught his counsels, and they will not that he should be their guide.” Coming to a place of trust and surrender to God’s will is just plain hard work--the hardest work we will ever attempt. It is far harder than any other “good works” and it is the one that is absolutely essential. What a different mindset to humbly plead for God’s guidance, to know and do His will, than to either coast in deep ruts of habitual behavior or plead with the Lord to change things to be the way we want them. I’m afraid I’ve wasted time in both of the above-mentioned modes. But when I have the presence of mind to ASK, I receive the gifts of the Spirit needed to rise above these natural man patterns. The quest of my life is to surrender my will to His, to recognize and do His will. When I accomplish it, I am at peace. When I fail, I am miserable. I’m blessed to have good friends whose example helps me in my quest. Years ago I went to visit my dear friend Patricia the day before she went into the hospital for a hysterectomy. She told me of her recent deepening of understanding in regard to letting go of outcomes--of the trust in the Lord that gives you the freedom to say, “Whatever happens, it’s all right.” She told of the difference between praying, “Lord, get my daughter back to church,” and “Lord, please be with my daughter and reach her in any way that is best for her. Help me to love and accept her just as she is, just where she is in her development.” Patricia said, “I’ve traditionally written a long list of questions for the New Year. The 62 I wrote last year were all about outcomes. When I started doing the same this year I stopped, and wrote only one question: ‘Will I develop a closer relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, turn my life over to Him and learn to accept His will and follow His direction?’ With that focus, whatever happens about the 62 things (and most of them are still distressing), my faith will remain intact.” Patricia had such a calm and radiant spirit that day, and I continue to learn from her and her steadfast determination to trusther future to the Lord. The results of turning to God are results I can trust. His promises are sure, unchangeable, like He is. The scriptures become more and more important in my life as I ponder them, reap the blessings from the reasons they give me for trusting God. When I experience the blessings of trusting, its fruits become delicious to me and I want more! When I worry, obsess over other people’s choices or what “might happen,” I am in the natural man state. When I trust God, pray, submit, seek the Lord’s will, I rise above the natural man and begin to taste the fruits of the Spirit. Here’s an every-day example: one year, after Thanksgiving our son had to make a twelve-hour drive in a frightful storm on treacherous roads. I was quickly going into my best worry mode. However, my husband said, “I think he’ll be fine. And if anything happens, we’ll deal with it then. Why make yourself miserable over something that probably won’t happen?” We prayed for him, turned him over to the Lord, and had a lovely day. He arrived safely. The more I experience both sides of the coin, the more appealing I find the trust mode and the less appealing I find the worry mode. It seems such a waste of time. The best news is--it’s up to me! I can choose whether to wallow in fear and worry or to bask in the sweet assurance that since all is in God’s hands, all is well.Mormon 5:23 reminds us, “Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God? Know ye not that he hath all power?” Trust in the Lord Can Make All the Difference Trust, such a small word, makes all the difference in the quality of our lives. I’m not here on earth to prove I can learn life’s lessons by myself, but to be brought to the position of trusting in God. The greatest lesson of all is our insatiable need for the Lord’s help. We can achieve self-mastery only by turning to the Master. We can find sufficiency only by turning to the One who is sufficient. Any experience we have, no matter how difficult, that pulls those ideas from theory into practice, is a blessed experience indeed. Trust eclipses doubt and makes me steadfast in belief. Trust excuses me from the ludicrous impossible job of trying to fix others, fix the world, right all wrongs, and making others SEE. As a mother of many grown children, learning this trust has proved essential to my sanity. When in the trust mode I know that I am responsible only for my own quest for trust and I can be free of imposing my perceptions on anyone else. Trust seems to be the very key to gospel living: unless I trust the Lord I will not seek His will. If I don’t trust, how can I love Him with might, mind, and strength? Unless I trust how can I say I have hope and faith? Trust is the antidote to worry and fear, the opposite of stress. Trust allows me to relax into reality and learn what is there for me to learn. Any day we remember to say, “Preserve me, O God, for in thee I put my trust” (Psalm 13:1) is a good day. Whatever happens, the Lord will not forsake us. His promises are sure. We have such never-ending reasons to trust the Lord. We can look to the year 2012 armed with that trust. Trust in God will give us light in the New Year and help us live with peace in our hearts regardless of the chaos in the world. Note: To learn more about Darla and her books, Trust God No Matter What! and After My Son’s Suicide: An LDS Mother Finds Comfort in Christ and Strength to Go On, visit her website. For ebook format, go to Amazon.com.

We now have begun filling out papers to serve a couple mission. We put the date we expect to be ready to go as June. I'm working on several things to get ready, including the Word of Wisdom (from Doctrine and Covenants) way to eat, and increasing my physical activity, learning Spanish and hopefully some German too, studying the Preach MY Gospel and seeking to limit my clothing that will all work on a mission. FUN!

I am so pleased. It seems that my husband and I are progressing in our health from eating a Word of Wisdom way. Mainly whole grains, fresh veggies and fruits, while avoiding processed foods, sugars, white flour, dairy products and meat VERY sparingly! --- The benefits are; more energy, losing weight, not being hungry or craving, sleeping better, less blemishes, and saving money. It is super great that my sweetheart is doing it too! !!!

It seems no matter if I put paragraph indents and even whole blank lines between paragraphs everything still posts in one mass. :( Any help appreciated!

Specific ideas on my (our?) purpose in life

So, in the night, I awoke with an idea coming to me for this (my only) blog. Part of my purpose in life (and maybe good for all of us?) is to pass on info about things that have blessed our lives and also pass on warnings about things that have brought us sadness? So, what are some things that have worked for happiness for me? Top among them has to be my experiences as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While interestingly, the most sadness has come from the FEW times, I didn't follow the guidelines as closely as I wish I had. If it were possible to go back and change, but that is impossible, but thank heavens repentance IS possible and that I work as often as any issues come up. I am glad that I totally feel "my paths have been protected" so that I didn't stray too far off the path at least, but I do wish that the church had as clearly stated back in the 60s what is now printed and given to the youth as a tiny carry along guide in Standards for Youth. :) Ok, what is second in bringing me happiness? How interesting- as the things that came to mind in answering that question seem to be INCLUDED in my LDS membership! My love for our Savior Jesus Christ and my work to follow him which leads me to love and serve those around me. :) My love for my family and how I enjoy doing things for them. :) How I long to help children in need especially- but actually all people. How organizing things around me for convenience, beauty and health is a joy of creation for me. (I love different things to organize that will make an impact and last a while, so just doing dishes or vacuuming the same areas of the floor- totally loses its sparkle of job-- SOOooo I suppose if I will work on my attitude of gratitude-- I can overcome that too as surely a clean home is a service to all who enter, along with letting the beauty and convenience shine through?

A few more ideas of fun with family cleaning

So-- like Mary Poppins "clean up of the nursery"-- if you can make it fun-- it will go fast and you may not want to stop! :) So many of our problems actually come from our attitudes being negative about the challenge. I remember when I literally used to pray (in my head) that the volleyball wouldn't come my way in a game because I felt sure I would flub up and my team would be upset with me. When I got better at it, I had to keep my self from praying that I WOULD get a chance to hit the ball. :) What a difference a little experience and training can make! Now I love the game! So-- how can you make cleaning your home a game? (I would love for you to comment to let me hear your ideas! thanks!!) Probably you have seen the cute ideas for boys rooms, where the dirty clothes hamper is hung on the wall like a basketball hoop? Maybe the garbage can could be decorated similarly? What about making a boys room look a bit like a locker room? What about hiding a little trinket in each dirty room and then let the kids "whirlwind" clean it so who finds the trinket wins-- ? something from your "Parents store" of healthy treats and little toys? How about pretending that a King (or well loved authority) is coming to visit the neighborhood, and will choose the best looking home and then bedroom to sleep in? Of course Royalty should "reimburse" the owners for the privilege? (take them out for a movie?) How about "before and after pictures" with a time kept for how fast it can be made beautiful? How about a trip to a fun store (Ross for Less?) - for a decorator item or whatever the "chosen" one desires (within a $ limit!) Maybe have some grandparent, aunt or friend "judge" ? How about a party for friends when the home reaches a certain level of clean above and beyond the normal? ------------------------- Want to guess one of the best motivators for cleaning? Isn't it a phone call that a respected friend is coming to visit?

a break through on my health :)

Just found this in my drafts (I didn't even know I HAD a drafts area?-- It was from last year-- and I remember how great this was-- Maybe I need to go find that book again-- though we are eating MUCH healthier, (organic and nothing processed plus avoiding sugar (etc) like the plague. I wish I had put a date on this old draft! So as I usually do when I go shopping, I said a little silent prayer for guidance to find things that I needed and not buy anything that I didn't need.
Usually I don't look much in the books section-- as I have so many books and am running out of bookshelves etc. They had a cart out though with the new books that they hadn't put on the shelves yet, in my favorite Thrift Store, Deseret Industries (DI for short). -- So I looked over it a bit, and found a book Carbohydrate Addictions life span (or something like that). I can't give you the exact title as I loaned the book to another last night.

Anyway-- this book was describing ME!!! I would have more energy by not eating than from eating "a healthy breakfast"! Pancakes-- even whole wheat ones without ANY syrup but only sugar free applesauce-- would make me tired and bloated after eating them.

-- I totally craved all baked goods-- and have all my life claimed I had a "sweet tusk" (not just a sweet tooth!) Even when trying to eat healthy-- I would crave something at least somewhat sweet-- so would maybe have a 1/4 cup of dried cranberries or raisins (supposed to be healthy right?) after a meal or as a snack-- often with a few nuts.

I could eat the same food as my husband and gain weight. I have been on tons of diets and have terrible cravings but sacrifice only to end up gaining all the weight back and THEN some more added on. Till I totally quit diets, and just tried to "eat healthy".

But with not even doing this "life plan" correctly on Thursday when I bought the book and tried it (I mistakenly ate *canned green beans* instead of fresh)-- but I still felt so much better and I lost weight too.

I have been able to think more clearly and have felt so much less fatigue-- I actually found my self "automatically" thinking I was too tired to walk with the family, but then realized I was FINE, so I went too! Also when recently I was left in the car to wait-- I was motivated to get out of my seat and "clean out the car"!

Then this morning-- I feel so absolutely blessed! I got on the scales and broke under 200 lbs! About a week ago I weighed 206.1! I haven't been hungry, nor doing any purposeful exercise. I have been motivated and accomplishing! I am so pleased!

Anyway-- it is my hope that if I continue with this plan-- eating proteins and vegetables that help reduce cravings-- for all day except one meal (I get to choose which!) that I have a salad first, then on my plate I divide it up by 1/3 amount of carb reducing protein, 1/3 amount of carb reducing protein, and then 1/3 amount of ***ANY*** carb rich food I want. Last night I had some ice cream-- and I didn't get all tired afterwards, and look at my weight today!

Also-- they recommend that you weigh every day-- but then accept an average of the weeks weights as your weight-- and NOT lose more than 1/2 to 2 lbs a week. :) You can eat as often as you want too-- but to drink your 6-8 glasses of water, and eat only protein/vegetables that are carb craving reducing ones until your **one hour* of time to eat your rewards meal. :) I'm so very hopeful.

A dress that I tried on 3 days ago looks so much better already! :) blessings! Especially as I believe I will be able to do more work, and think better and so get out of and put into my life-- MORE

Some more fun stuff with Family Cleaning ideas

Ok, I got to thinking I should list more of my favorite ideas. (did you see the two earlier posts-- one about laundry?) I really love much of the "Speed Cleaning" originally brought forth by Jeff Cambell (google it) I bought all the books and videos and used their products for years. I especially liked the BIG saving of time cleaning-- with; having a plan of action for each room having the cleaning apron (much like a carpenters apron- so guys are ok with it! -- I made my own after buying one of theirs with specific tools that work GREAT -- like the special cleaning "toothbrush" "cleaning cloths" (not rags, but really tough hemmed cloths that don't leave lint :) two spray bottles that hang on loops (like a hammer loop) one for "blue juice" for windows-- but it comes concentrated and costs less than windex etc one for "red juice"-- a neutral cleaner for just about everything else-- (I LOVE this stuff!) I need to get more again as I use it in the laundry too- and for cleaning upholstery and even the carpet and not rinsing needed! (the apron even has pocket for little trash)- and I added an extra pocket for my cell phone, and a clip instead of ties. plus they have plastic liners in two of the pockets to store your two *special* small sponges (different backings) in plus they have a plastic putty knife that really saves your fingernails! and a great holder for a retractable razor blade for the really hard to remove things like paint and stickers etc You can make your own, in colors that indicate they are girls or guys, or let each worker choose a print fabric :)!!! --------------------------------------- There are also ideas from Don Aslett that I felt were great-- I used some of his ideas and products too. I would much rather be reading or something else besides cleaning but these ideas (and others) have made it so much easier and FASTER to get things clean and KEEP THEM FROM GETTING DIRTY-DISORGANIZED TO START WITH! (like special mats outside and just inside each outside door! that I have come to not mind cleaning at all, but enjoy how magically new everything looks so fast! Ok-- I admit, it is MUCH more fun to clean someone else's house than my own (too much familiarity breeds discontent?) and all my family workers have married and moved into their own homes! --------------------------------- Ok, now for some ideas for really younger workers-- (they love their own aprons and kids sized tools! 1 list the jobs on pieces of paper you fold and put in a fun container then let the kids draw to see what they will do. 2 have one older trainer with each younger child, and they both get rewards for "happily cleaning" 3 have a wheel with the work listed in the pie shapes and spin to see what work you get to do 4 have fun with a "white glover" inspector, acting out a turned up nose and wearing a white glove to look for dust etc 5 use a Grunch (large garbage bag-- maybe with a face drawn on with eyes above the opening?) that will come and "eat" up garbage left in a pile for it (be very dramatic) and the Grunch may eat up toys left out past a warning too! 6 keep record kept of each worker on how long it takes to clean certain rooms to certain levels from similar levels of mess so that you have a TIME to BEAT-- chart-- that changes with increasing speed and less wasted movement and that shows each person doing better each time-- not just the main winners-- as all win when all do better! 7 Make some cute or funny signs to place on doors-- Like "this room brought to you clean by the hands of _____" etc 8 Make also some funny signs for gentle warnings when bedrooms a begins to be thought to harbor vermin etc 9 Have special rewards for personal rooms being so clean they are open for company inspection (and compliments!) 10 Let the child have some say about the decor of their room- (maybe as part of a reward for keeping it clean?) but avoid like the plague any battles over the kids rooms-- choose your battles carefully! 11 Explain with love and logic how keeping the floor clear of clutter helps prevent accidental breakage of their things or stepping on something that might hurt (leggos- jacks- broken hair clips etc), along with helping find what they need when they are in a hurry.

Ideas for organizing kids to help clean

So I am feeling much better, with energy though I still cough a bit but I am dressed and being productive :) Here is something that I had said I would do quite some time ago, but never got around to it. Sorry, but better late than never, I hope. *** An important part of working with children (or anyone) is helping them feel able to do the work, training them, so they can be successful. You start small/easy and build up to more and harder jobs, as it is the pits to not understand and then have your efforts disparaged! (never do that as you want to keep positive energy for cleaning) I think I will just start listing some things we did, (that worked for at least an acceptable period of time-- as it really helps to change things around and make it feel new besides kids age etc). One of my favorite was, what I actually felt inspired to do to modify from the "Side Tracked Home Executives" card file system idea. I also set this up for our Ward Member cleaning, as I was called to be head of that some time ago. When years later we were called as team members to help clean the temple it was cool to see they used a form of the same thing! I organized on a piece of paper first, all the various jobs with exactly what each job entailed, along with any cleaning tools necessary to do the job, and where they were found. (this took the most time, but it was worth it!) I tried to divide the jobs so that no job took more than 1/2 an hour to do. For instance, I didn't have one person vacuuming the WHOLE house, I divided it into separate areas-- like one card for vacuuming the stairs & halls, one for vac the family room, one vac for the living room. (the kids were all required to clean their own bedrooms on their own time) I also organized the jobs as to what was ESSENTIAL to do, (bathrooms! laundry! etc) down to what would be nice if we had excess people (sweep the sidewalk in front of the house?) . I put the ESSENTIAL work at the top and I numbered each job. It could also be adjusted to difficulty to do-- like age appropriate jobs- which then could be color coded, and for the little ones, draw little pictures of a duster and different places to dust? Then I typed up the job descriptions and printed them sized so they would fit on a 3/5 card, so I could cut them apart and laminate them with clear contact paper to the cards. On each job card I had duplicates made, so one went with the worker and one stayed on the chart board. -- I typed in Bold-- "work in progress" and "work finished" strips that were laminated on opposite ends of the cards, so when a person was working on a job, they turned the card on its end, so the appropriate sign showed. another improvement, would to make several for each worker, little kind of like award ribbons (circle rosette with bit of ribbon trailing) with each childs name on them, so you would know who had done which job already or who was working on what. These could be attached to paperclips so they could be attached to the workcards each time. Some work also did best with two people, and that would be indicated on the cards too. To make the work chart, I used a stiff poster board, and taped strips of more of the board across it, to make long pockets, in rows, enough for all the work to be included. I marked off enough room for the cards to sit side by side in the slots, and I numbered and labled the areas so that it was easy to see where the cards went. One could make this quite artistic and fun using stickers and colors too. Oh, I almost forgot, either a parent or a responsible older child who has been trained needs to be the "inspector" and be sure the work is done adequately. Also letting the children have choices of what to do (as long as the essential things are getting done!) is a help too. One thing I learned (the hard way) is to have a time or a basic amount done- so the kids didn't feel like the working time would never end. They needed to know that when enough was done they could go-- BUT have appropriate rewards for those who work the most, and for the whole group if MUCH is accomplished in a short time! If this reward (maybe a family outing to a park or beach or movie or $ ? -- try not to use food :( as it can backfire into obesity! is given as soon as the work is declared acceptable and enough done, it REALLY energizes! They work faster when they know the prize will come faster. You might also want to have some negative consequence for any who want to try out the "slacker" position. You can talk to the family about these things ahead of time- when you are wanting to get them jazzed about the clean home and rewards.

Well, now it is March 11, 2012 almost 4am Sunday morning. I finally got over the stomach pain, as I worked to not stress but let go and let God. Also my nephew seems to have realized that his spewing of anti LDS stuff (which seemed barely re-packaged)was not helping his stated goal, because he loves us- to get any of us to leave the faith, but only causing me (at least) to see more clearly that his leaving seems to have left him with being less Christlike in his actions (while one after another asked to be deleted from his "messages"). Anyway-- may God bless him, and us all, to seek truth and love one another in our lives as Christ loves us. So-- not very long after that stress was sinking over the horizon-- it seems that the stress of the fishing season was looming over my head and I still could not choose which was the lessor evil of what I saw as my only two choices. 1) Go on the fishing boat with my husband as I did summer before last-- which SO did not work out, as he was so intense actually catching fish, or looking for fish to catch, or fixing gear to catch fish, or delivering fish, or sleeping so he could have energy to catch fish! I think he would have paid more attention to me if I were a fish! (as a young girl I wished I was a mermaid ;)I know he felt he was doing it for us, but I felt there were many other ways to make/save money! 2) So last summer I didn't go fishing, but stayed home and tried to keep busy. I actually drove our car across several states (me alone in the car but following friends in their car) but that house was just as empty/lonely as our dwelling in WA. I actually then moved us (a first without my Dear Husband) from the larger 3 story home, into a much smaller with a basement, that didn't have a huge canal on one side, an irrigation ditch on the opposite side and MAIN street (even so named!) in front, with no fence- so there was naturally serious concern for the danger to our active little grandchildren when they would come visit. It was great to get into the smaller easier to clean, more "me" home, and also to help out a cousin of Rays with eight kids who is now renting the big house :). Still after I did all I could to "settle in" the cottage, (some things just need my sweet DH to do) the loneliness descended again. In thinking back on it, I think one issue was that I was not eating enough fresh veggies and fruits but mostly canned stuff, as I worked to use up the food storage we had, and not run the 1/2 hour to town to shop each week. (Gas prices were and still are ghastly !) I also wanted to do all I could to help our financial situation so my Dear Husband wouldn't feel he needed to leave dry land to make income for us. (yes, I know it was a pitiful amount but it was a little saved). Anyway-- I kept praying that somehow the best possible would happen and there would be other options if it was Gods' will. I was blessed to discover that I had enough air miles to buy airfare with only $5 cash, to go ID to help out there for a little over a week! So fun, but a lot of work and I never sleep well for the first week in a different place. :( I also started coughing the night we got back to WA after spending that super busy week, in ID helping our daughter the day after her husband had major surgery for a ruptured Achilles heel (while she hadn't his help but he needed hers) with their four little ones. What a blessing that surgery was the Friday a week before my dear sweet sister Carol was getting married! My daughter (with the recuperating hubby) was in charge of the decorations for the wedding/reception and my sisters wedding dress was totally ruined by the alterations person at the cleaners! So I also was there to work on preparing another dress for her too. My dear husband missed me :), (it is a whole new feeling for him to have ME gone, from a place he is used to having me fill) So on Friday night, he caught a plane and made it in time to dance with me at the wedding Saturday morning! YEAH! What a beautiful and wonderful time we all had. We felt the angels helped things work out well, as my DH was able to escort my sister down the aisle, as he was the oldest male on our side of the family there. We left right after we helped with the cleanup from the wedding and drove all the way to the cottage ( 3 hours and part of the time in a blizzard!) and spent the night in the cottage that was 45 degrees cold when we got there! Sunday morning we realized that in that city, our wards late meeting times would make us miss our plane if we stayed for them, but our kids back in Boise had a 1:00 Sacrament meeting time so we could attend with them. Quickly we grabed things we needed (tools for him, papers for taxes etc) and loaded our daughters truck with furniture she had had to leave there, as it wouldn't fit in their u-haul when they moved to Boise area. We rushed back to Boise in time to go to church with them, then on to the airport. I was exhausted! I doubt there is a single drop of gypsy blood in my body, as I do not really enjoy traveling at all. Trying to sleep on the plane didn't work well, and having to be there so early is tiresome too. Bless my DH heart, that when we arrived that Sunday night in SeaTac he agreed that we stay in a hotel instead of driving 3 more hours back home! I'm so glad he needed to get some parts in Seattle, and this way it saved him time and gas too! Good idea! This is where we saw on the hotel TV in the news about Ron Paul's plan/actions to hijack the delegates. :( Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well that night so Monday morning I was still very tired as I sat in the car, with double coats and blankets packed all over me, mostly sleeping (but doing a little Facebook etc on my wonderful I Phone) while Ray shopped for 2 hours in a Fisheries supply store. Then he drove us the 3 long hours home and I was beginning to cough then. I had had a sore throat off and on in ID but had kept it at bay with Airborne and homeopathic remedies. The next morning I was worse! I didn't have a fever, nor aches and pains but I was just so tired, weak and coughing, coughing coughing! I figured a few days rest and I would be OK, but it wasn't to be. When the next Sunday came and I still wasn't well enough to go to church-- I started to think seriously about why I wasn't getting well. My mother was a trained therapist and I learned a lot from her about how our subconscious can run things! So I asked myself, what was I "sick" about-- what made me feel "sick"? The main thing was the coming summers lack of a good choice for what in the world I would do if Ray was gone fishing another 6 months. Dread the thought! So, I decided to broach that tender (so many times hashed over) subject with my Dear Husband, and Happy DAY! I hadn't realized the implications of what he had told me just before I left-- that Icicle Seafoods had bought out the company that we worked for- SnoPac! Icicle didn't plan to buy herring in Togiak, so my husband had no reason to leave so soon! He might not have any reason to go until the end of June! Also, he told me he had contact with a boat captain that he hoped to get to run our fishing boat so he might not go fish at all! My prayers seemed to be being answered with my hearts desire, but I could just take it bit by bit. "Expect nothing and forgive everything". I was some better the next morning and even did some work on the computer and at the sewing machine, but not all better, as I was still coughing scarey enough to empty a building without yelling fire. :( Also I was still tired as coughing really destroys sleep and already I often have insomnia! I had been working online to spread the word about the delegate hijacking plans of Ron Paul and supporters. I was too sick to go caucus but Ray went, and he saw it happen right in our own little precinct. (He tends to be one that does not make like to "make a stink" and is over trusting.) The person who ran the voting at our table never explained how things worked, nor asked who was for whom, and suddenly we had a RP delegate though the votes tallied up to not have RP in first place. Ray would have totally offered to be the delegate but he wasn't sure he wouldn't be gone to AK. Ray only knew she was a RP supporter as he had watched to see who cheered for whom etc. So, last night, seeing that it seems I will miss a second Sunday in church-- I looked again at what *else* might be causing me to be sick-- (or my immune system to be down) and two things popped up really fast. Actually they are both some to do with the political race for pres and so are somewhat connected. It is all the anti LDS stuff being smeared around because Mitt Romney is a candidate and the whole hijack the delegates thing. I had not felt good enough most days to go online to work to correct some of the bogus things said about our LDS faith-- as I was just so tired and it stressed me more so I couldn't rest. I worked on it when I could though. Well- it didn't seem that there was much more I could do about either of these stress producers, as I was already spreading the hijack news as best I could (and praying that no one would choose to be offended! as even one of our Sons and his wife are Ron Paul Supporters and some in our church too. One person from church had even shared that she believed Mitt was evil and into secret combinations! Sheeish! I was pleased to question our son who is for RP and he totally does not believe that. :) He says he knows Mitt is a good person but our son just likes RP ideas better. Anyway-- so I got proactive and read more about my slightly changed symptoms using the Homeopathic Remedy book and switched to a different remedy and decided to try sleeping in a warmer room. We have felt that we slept better with cold air and had also saved electricity by keeping our door closed. I didn't cough as much in the warmer room :) but I did wake about 2:00am. :( So, when I checked Facebook (what do you do when you can't sleep at night?) I was so pleased to see on a post about Mitt winning the Island votes-- that the commentators were talking about the delegate hijack thing! YES! I can feel some of the weight being lifted off my body! Hope is on the horizon in several things for me now! I even have some of our family planning to come all the way here for our Rochelle's' (former foster/guardianed daughter) wedding in July! I do so hope we still have our family home/castle then! How I would love for them to have good memories from here. :) Oh, I don't know as I shared about that. So now the bank is looking into the foundation leak that has been plaguing us for years as we work with doing one recommended fix after another, but so far it still drips right on your head when it rains hard. There is a new appraisal being done on the castle and an inspector coming to check the condition of the boat shop from building fiberglass and aluminum boats there for about 30 years. Gods will be done, but it is feeling more hopeful too. :) Anyway-- I do still pray to know what is most important for me to do. I dream sometimes that I am helping children feel loved and that they can make choices that will help them to live a happier life. I keep looking for a way to make that dream come true. It is hard when I'm sick and we keep not being very stable in our living arrangements. :( I am still on the list to do foster respite in ID, but not here. The rules are way more strict here, but I will keep looking into what I can do. I am so thankful that I know why we are on the earth, where we came from and what happens when we die. ! It helps me make a more joyful living-- even with the overstress that comes to test and try me. Gods will be done!

"can't stomach" this?

So, I have been having some quite severe stomach pains, off and on and of different levels since Sunday night. I have ruled out the normal things, and now wonder if I am getting an ulcer or Chrons' disease or something. I have noticed it is worse when I feel stressed, and then realized that I have been working to respond to anti LDS distortions=lies now flourishing online in news articles and even more in the comments to them :( . This has greatly increased my stress (as dealing with anti or even hearing anyone use the Lords name in vain ((even in a movie etc)) gives me a slight punch in the stomach feeling)-- ugh! ---- So with the anti LDS now being spread by a member of our family, this was even more, up close and personal to me, it has stressed me W A Y more. I have no problem with anyone sharing what they LIKE about their faith, but I feel there is not need to attack others faith (unless there is a real kool-aid type cult) but LDS is so not like that. Mormonism is easy to leave, encourages family unity and get together, encourages questions and getting to the source with fully seeing all points, has been legally established from the beginning, abt 200 years, not just based on one charismatic leader, doesn't require any to officially/legally donate all their belongings to the group etc etc) Anyway-- back to my point. The anti stuff, even in the presidential campaign, all goes on top of my/our "daily" stresses, dealing with our home being foreclosed on, my husbands commercial fishing business, and him building a skiff, among other things.

purpose of parenting in article about back talk :)

I hope I can past this article! It was on Meridian Magazine. I have appreciated all I have read of her articles. Maybe she has a blog too? They were foster parents, and also on TV took in a super rebellious teens from another country-- and helped them have a change of heart in I think it was two weeks, on reality tv! WOW! Back Talking Cure By Nicholeen Peck Notify me when this author publishesComment on Article Email Author Author Archive Send To a Friend Print Article Bookmark and Share backTalkingBoyQuestion: “How do you stop children from back talking?” Answer: Children talking back, or sassing, to their parents seems to be a behavior many children experiment with. At different phases of development feelings of independence and intelligence emerge causing kids to talk back. Ironically, parents spend lots of energy reinforcing the intelligence of their children, and teaching the children how to think for themselves. If we spend so many years moving our child toward self-governing thoughts and behaviors, why do we care so much about back talking children and back talking teenagers? Respect Respect is a vital part of learning self-government. Without an attitude of respect the child or teenager is doomed to fail in life. Successes in life are built upon successful relationships. Any sales person can tell you this. If a person trusts you and feels appreciated and respected by you, then they will give you more trust, more money, more affection, or more opportunity. Respect is a feeling of trust, acceptance, mercy and love. Families are built on feelings like these. When a parent feels respected she will happily serve a child more and be more willing to sacrifice for the happiness of the child. Likewise, if a parent feels disrespect from the child, she will naturally become more controlling and negative toward the child. Naturally, children offer similar positive and negative rewards to parents who treat them with disrespect. It is imperative that we understand there is a difference between good traditional strict parenting based on solid principles and calm communication, and disrespectful parenting manifested by feelings of disapproval, contention, superiority, and lack of understanding. Respect is a feeling! Aesop Knows Best “The Blind Man And The Whelp” A blind man was accustomed to distinguish different animals by touching them with his hands. The whelp of a wolf was brought him, with a request that he would feel it, and say what it was. He felt it and being in doubt said, “I do not quite know whether is is the cub of a fox, or the help of a wolf; but this I know full well, that it would not be safe to admit him into the sheepfold. The Heart Of Respect At the heart of all behavior problems such as kids talking back, there is a selfish heart. This heart can be felt,even if the child is trying to deny the problem. Just as the blind man could feel the danger of allowing the pup he held in his hands into a sheepfold, we also feel the selfish heart of the child talking back and know the home environment is not safe. Since a selfish heart is at the heart of the back talking problem, that is the first place to focus our energies in order to stop the back talking. This issue with back talking is never about what is said, it is about what is felt. So, as a parent, the first thing to remember is that when a child is talking back, never acknowledge the words being said. The child is attempting to initiate a power struggle, which means you need to have enough self-government not to power struggle back. Hearts rarely change in the middle of an argument. Before you say anything, make sure you check the way you feel. Focus your energy on letting your heart speak to their heart. Practice speaking with love, understanding, and truth. How To Stop Back Talking Focus on your tone, and on reaching their heart. Never talk back to a back talker. Have negative consequences for back talking and do a proper correction. Teach your child how to disagree appropriately before back talking is an issue (proactive parenting is always better than reactive parenting) Praise your child for choosing to disagree appropriately. Disagreeing Appropriately Stephen Covey says, “Seek to understand, then to be understood.” This principle, if understood in childhood, can create an assertive person who is likely to have many leadership positions and successful relationships. To properly disagree appropriately to parents, a child should announce his intentions by saying, “May I disagree appropriately?” Understanding parents always say, “yes” to such an inquiry. Then the youth proceeds to say what he “understands” about what the other person is feeling. After he shows he respects the parent enough to understand where they are coming from, then he shares his perspective of a decision or situation, and his desire for a different decision to be made by the parent. This straight forward, yet humble, approach to disagreeing unites parents and children instead of engaging them in relationship destroying power struggles like standard, selfish disagreements tend to do. The Positive Consequence After a child sees that when he disagrees appropriately he often gets his way, he sees there is an attractive positive consequence for choosing to respect his parents; increased personal freedom. Getting your way is a kind of freedom which shows that the parent trusts the child. When a child feels real trust he is more likely to repeat the respectful behavior which helped him earn that trust. Then the beginning of a respectful relationship is born. It is important that parents remember the point of parenting is to build a long lasting respectful relationship. The point isn't how many cookies a person has had, or what time they go to bed. So, if you take the time to teach your child to disagree appropriately, then make sure they see it often works. This positive consequence will encourage self-government. Which, after all, is what we work so hard at teaching our children each day of their lives. There is no greater gift we can give our children than an environment where self-government is taught, because the greatest battle any of us fight in this life is the battle of choosing to follow the heart over following the body. People who learn to master themselves, can lead others to do the same; which is the essence of greatness in this world. I don't know about you, but that is what I want for my children.Back Talking Cure By Nicholeen Peck Notify me when this author publishesComment on Article Email Author Author Archive Send To a Friend Print Article Bookmark and Share backTalkingBoyQuestion: “How do you stop children from back talking?” Answer: Children talking back, or sassing, to their parents seems to be a behavior many children experiment with. At different phases of development feelings of independence and intelligence emerge causing kids to talk back. Ironically, parents spend lots of energy reinforcing the intelligence of their children, and teaching the children how to think for themselves. If we spend so many years moving our child toward self-governing thoughts and behaviors, why do we care so much about back talking children and back talking teenagers? Respect Respect is a vital part of learning self-government. Without an attitude of respect the child or teenager is doomed to fail in life. Successes in life are built upon successful relationships. Any sales person can tell you this. If a person trusts you and feels appreciated and respected by you, then they will give you more trust, more money, more affection, or more opportunity. Respect is a feeling of trust, acceptance, mercy and love. Families are built on feelings like these. When a parent feels respected she will happily serve a child more and be more willing to sacrifice for the happiness of the child. Likewise, if a parent feels disrespect from the child, she will naturally become more controlling and negative toward the child. Naturally, children offer similar positive and negative rewards to parents who treat them with disrespect. It is imperative that we understand there is a difference between good traditional strict parenting based on solid principles and calm communication, and disrespectful parenting manifested by feelings of disapproval, contention, superiority, and lack of understanding. Respect is a feeling! Aesop Knows Best “The Blind Man And The Whelp” A blind man was accustomed to distinguish different animals by touching them with his hands. The whelp of a wolf was brought him, with a request that he would feel it, and say what it was. He felt it and being in doubt said, “I do not quite know whether is is the cub of a fox, or the help of a wolf; but this I know full well, that it would not be safe to admit him into the sheepfold. The Heart Of Respect At the heart of all behavior problems such as kids talking back, there is a selfish heart. This heart can be felt,even if the child is trying to deny the problem. Just as the blind man could feel the danger of allowing the pup he held in his hands into a sheepfold, we also feel the selfish heart of the child talking back and know the home environment is not safe. Since a selfish heart is at the heart of the back talking problem, that is the first place to focus our energies in order to stop the back talking. This issue with back talking is never about what is said, it is about what is felt. So, as a parent, the first thing to remember is that when a child is talking back, never acknowledge the words being said. The child is attempting to initiate a power struggle, which means you need to have enough self-government not to power struggle back. Hearts rarely change in the middle of an argument. Before you say anything, make sure you check the way you feel. Focus your energy on letting your heart speak to their heart. Practice speaking with love, understanding, and truth. How To Stop Back Talking Focus on your tone, and on reaching their heart. Never talk back to a back talker. Have negative consequences for back talking and do a proper correction. Teach your child how to disagree appropriately before back talking is an issue (proactive parenting is always better than reactive parenting) Praise your child for choosing to disagree appropriately. Disagreeing Appropriately Stephen Covey says, “Seek to understand, then to be understood.” This principle, if understood in childhood, can create an assertive person who is likely to have many leadership positions and successful relationships. To properly disagree appropriately to parents, a child should announce his intentions by saying, “May I disagree appropriately?” Understanding parents always say, “yes” to such an inquiry. Then the youth proceeds to say what he “understands” about what the other person is feeling. After he shows he respects the parent enough to understand where they are coming from, then he shares his perspective of a decision or situation, and his desire for a different decision to be made by the parent. This straight forward, yet humble, approach to disagreeing unites parents and children instead of engaging them in relationship destroying power struggles like standard, selfish disagreements tend to do. The Positive Consequence After a child sees that when he disagrees appropriately he often gets his way, he sees there is an attractive positive consequence for choosing to respect his parents; increased personal freedom. Getting your way is a kind of freedom which shows that the parent trusts the child. When a child feels real trust he is more likely to repeat the respectful behavior which helped him earn that trust. Then the beginning of a respectful relationship is born. It is important that parents remember the point of parenting is to build a long lasting respectful relationship. The point isn't how many cookies a person has had, or what time they go to bed. So, if you take the time to teach your child to disagree appropriately, then make sure they see it often works. This positive consequence will encourage self-government. Which, after all, is what we work so hard at teaching our children each day of their lives. There is no greater gift we can give our children than an environment where self-government is taught, because the greatest battle any of us fight in this life is the battle of choosing to follow the heart over following the body. People who learn to master themselves, can lead others to do the same; which is the essence of greatness in this world. I don't know about you, but that is what I want for my children.

in response to having a nephew send anti LDS stuff to our family

When Ray told me that Jacobs email went to Brinn and Rochelle, I realized that I needed to be sure that my witness was also sent to them (and you all). to be sure that you all have at least an opportunity to read my witness to the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ as taught in his restored church. I realized that for me to assume that all of you know the things I know and feel, is a wrong assumption. Whether you read any or all of what I share is entirely up to you, but I will have at least done my part. I am interested in what positive things others have to say about what they believe has had good effects on their life, especially concerning Jesus Christ. What good things such a belief has wrought in their lives and choices, along with what supports they have found for the beliefs. I want to be as open to more truth, from whatever source, as I hope people are to what I have to share. However, I think for someone to send negative stuff to others--- specifically directed against the others personal faith---, is not a very Christian act, unless there is imminent danger (like the Jones cult) or that is leading them to break the 10 commandments etc. If you are fearful for them, ask THEM ab out your fears, and look at the fruits of their faith, or talk to members in good standing, check non biased historical facts etc. Check out on the web “FAIR LDS” for answers to anti, & I have lots of books too. In the Bible, I believe Jesus did not denounce the Samaritans, but made one the hero of a parable. I do nor remember (help me out if you find something?) where Jesus or the apostles spoke so much against others doctrines, as against their ACTIONS, and then it was usually when their OWN group was breaking the commandments, that they were called to repentance. The apostles were to go and preach THEIR gospel, but I don't see where they were to rip on others. If something is the best, and we let others know, they will gravitate to it as they come to see it better than what they have, but the more we denounce others, the harder they will hold on to what they have. What terrible things do others who fight against the church think LDS are doing? What commandments are we teaching others to break? Saul thought he was doing right to persecute the Saints too, as he thought they had corrupted the Jewish faith. When I went to bed last night, I was assuming that the reason I didn't receive any of email from Jacob was, that he was aware that showering me with anti garbage was a waste of time. I just didn't feel like digging through the negative stuff as I have spent much of my life already doing that and so far it has just been the same “pile of poo”, with maybe a few new blobs, but they seem to come from the same source (Satan), smell as bad and have the same basic substance. Also it seems, to continue with my allegory, that much of the contents in the negative propaganda I have dealt with, (ripping down LDS and other churches) was never anything new and enriching to start with, but worse than non food, being more like alcohol or tobacco, which was never meant for the belly, though some “consume” such and get physically/emotionally addicted to it which can ruin their lives, here and hereafter if they don't seek to be healed. There is no need to for instance consume red wine to get the good effect of the whole fresh red grapes, as all that is good can begotten without the alcohol produced from turning it into wine. Such to me is how I think we can go to the scriptures and to God in the teachings of the church for the truth. Yes, we are to seek for good (article of faith 13) but when something comes claiming to be good, but to the very beginning, it is adulterated with anti-- no reason to continue, in my view. Love to all, and may we all make the best choices possible. Gramajane

Later, after giving our talks. ( whew)

I do feel like my prayers were answered, and I am more than satisfied that I was helped to give my talk better than I could have done it alone. I am sooooo glad it is over though.

My dear husband said I did a great job, (though maybe he is a little prejudiced in my favor) but I know he appreciated that I didn't take (he said) one second over my 1/2 of the time.
One father father of five commented to me that his kids were riveted as they listened. Another person came and told us we did awesome, and we should go be professional speech givers. It is gratifying to have people make so many good comments to me. I need to remember to do that when I especially like anothers' talk.

Several said that my talk made them think, and they really appreciated that. I did ask questions, (rhetorical I think is the word) as I didn't need them to answer me. Some said that they loved our talks and were especially glad we didn't read them.

I forgot to mention that if any one wanted more embellishment, etc to come check out my blog. Well, I left out a LOT that I had put on my distilled down one page, but I knew I needed to cut it down at least 1/2 more than than, which did happen it felt naturally (with Heavens' help).

I added a few things that popped into my mind, like that we did have communication with home from our boarding school (which I had said earlier was a little like our Hogworths) but not by any owls delivering messaged, but by something more powerful than a cell phone, as it didn't need to be recharged with electricity, --- humm that isn't quite how I said it, but then, I'm not being helped right now. Anyway then I said something about being connected to the source of all power, God.

Anyway-- I'm glad it "came to pass". It is interesting that as we lived here for the most part of our married life, the most talks I have given have been here, though the building only had the first phase when we first moved here, so part was at the smaller podium in what is now the Primary room.

Oh, several times the Doctrine and Covenants teacher referred back to Rays talk. He did his usual awesome job too, and related 3 stories. One of his mission about a dream he had then about his use of time, which was symbolized by a yard stick of the day, marked with black areas for wasted time and white for the best use, then all the dark was pushes to one side and he was appalled that he had wasted so much (sleep time was black too), then he told how he figured ways to better use his time, like he made flash cards of scriptures to memorize as he rode on the bus and walked etc.

He told stories from his commercial fishing, about choosing to do better as he had a change of heart, from twice within one hour of great frustration, using the Lords name in vain, and pleased that he had never done it again in the 55 years since.

HE told about feeling bad as he had been somewhat rude to a dental hygienist who each year hurt him so bad when he got his teeth cleaned by her, that he went prologize but she was with another client, so he went home and timed exactly how long it took to floss his teeth (32 seconds) and decided to floss the whole year till his next apt. He did that and with one glance in his mouth she pulled back and exclaimed "you've been flossing" and then he apologized and they both got tears in their eyes. That he was never hurt so bad again, either from naturally not having so much to scrap off his teeth, or she was more gentile, he was not sure.

I was so happy for Ray, and he had no such stress over his talk as I did over mine but it was funny, as he admitted that he was determined after I had kept my talk so perfectly in the allotted time, to do the same and that clock watching made him a little awkward.

It was cute though as the sister who leads the hymns said that it was ironic that he stopped right on time, while she wouldn't have minded if he went a whole hour over as he was so interesting to listen to.

still more

So, one analogy I put on my list was about the long time ago TV program. They took two couples, and had them race in a grocery store to see which team could bring to the check out, the groceries that would total more than their competitor, as the couple that won, would get to keep the food, (free) and could resell it if they wished.
It was fun to plan what I would do, and try to think what was worth the most and could be gathered with the most speed etc. Learning to work with a partner, and to keep focused etc is important. This also seems to apply to the purpose of life in some ways too-- but of course not perfectly.

I also thought about a vacation to Disneyland as an analogy to this life, that if one knew they would get to go with their family, and depending on the age and situation of their children, what training would need to be given to the children so they would not get lost, and they could make the best use of their time in Disneyland without melt downs from hot, tired, sore muscles, hungry, thirsty, overwhelm etc. as I have seen happen to some families. Sadly some parents would then get angry and demand their children enjoy themselves! Sheeish!

So planning not just for how fast the money will go, (do we bring food with us or spend $ on the very expensive food they have there, but planning for rest stops, for bathroom breaks etc. Having a map, and talking it over with the children to see what things are most important to them to do, as there usually is not time to do it all or to repeat the same events etc. Making use of the map, to find what is close to what, so one is not walking from one side of the park to the other back and forth etc. Planning with the kids what to do if they get separated from the family! Helping them know how to recognize who they should go to for help (part of the trust thing)- what the helpers uniforms look like in this case, or go to a food stand etc.

In life it is much the same as we need to prepare our children for the time they will no longer be with us, but will need to take care of their own needs. Help them learn to learn, and know that they can do what is necessary, and many hard things they can endure, as they HAVE learned to work at our sides. Learn to enjoy the great feeling of getting an important work down well and on time. What great joy!

brings me to *** packing for our trip of a lifetime ***
Here we need to prioritize and plan. "if ye are prepared, ye need not fear" So we need to visualize what things we might encounter in the place we are going,and maybe even extend that to in case the airplane gets diverted to a different destination from some emergency?

What is the thing my husband and I have come to realize that we MOST want to bring with us anytime we leave the house or even the room? Did you guess "cell phone?", then you are right. To be able to communicate with each other and our loved ones, to be able to see the phones GPS, call for help, look up info etc. And along with the cell phone, we have learned it is best to take a multi use charger, for the car or for a regular electrical outlet-- or the phone dies and is of not much use!

There is something to me that is way better than any cell phone anyone will ever invent (though there sure are a lot of neat things out!) as this communicator does not need to be recharged with electricity (( though connecting to the source at least once a day helps)) and it puts me in connection with the best info in this world and out of it, along with warning me of dangers etc! It is the miracle of prayer! (did you guess that?) which we can do anywhere, silently or aloud, and know that God will hear us and answer our prayers, though sometimes the answer is no, or not yet.

So-- too, we can improve our "reception" by reading our scriptures and not getting surrounded by things that block that reception (bad places) or getting virus in our works (porn etc) -- there is a lot that can relate in this analogy.
So-- too, we can improve our "reception" by reading our scriptures and not getting surrounded by things that block that reception (bad places) or getting virus in our works (porn etc) -- there is a lot that can relate in this analogy.


So just as one needs to learn how to work a new cell phone, one also needs to be trained in prayer. Hopefully ASAP after birth or before!-- with the parents praying for the baby before it is born, and with the baby in their arms for family prayer each night and morning, and talking about their answers they have had from prayer. To be able to decipher the signals from the Holy Ghost, to recognize the feelings/promptings of yes answers, or danger etc. Most people are not blessed with this training in their families, but it is available for those who seek it, in the organization that God has set up to help his children return to their home in heaven, his Church.

Plus there is helpful information many other places, but some is not as accurate, so a person needs to keep seeking, with keeping an open mind, knowing that God hasn't moved away from us, and will always want to communicate with us, but the problem is on our side. Especially if sadly we think "God has ceased to speak to man" then I doubt we would be looking for that, and are then WAY less likely to accept if we find it is supposedly happening to others, true?

So-- from my notes-- a book came to mind, I think the title was something like;
"what I needed to know in life, I learned in Kindergarten" ?

Actually, hopefully the most important things are learned before kindergarten! First out of the womb would be "Trust", then communication (first crying), and feeding, and then learning to watch and learn from what we see and hear. Learning to control our bodies and our appetites and passions. Learning to wait and to share. Learning to respect others bodies and things. Learning to clean ourselves (for health and society) with cleaning our surroundings for health, (little children can pick up toys themselves) safety and to save time so things don't get lost or broken etc.

Learning an attitude of Gratitude, as I said earlier is also mega important to help us have a can do attitude and not a victim attitude. Learning to read, and write and the value of money, to ask for help when needed and to dress appropriately for not only weather for modesty etc too. Learning should be a life time occupation!


So, in packing a suitcase, we need to consider as I said above, where we are going, what we will do there, what we can get there instead of taking with us, what to wear, will there be a way to clean our clothes or how long will we be gone so need to take enough etc etc. Among these things then we need to see how to pack them safely.

When one packs, or plans a trip or just a day-- don't we need to consider the most important and the largest time/space users first? Then on down the line, to what we can fit in the last few spaces. Isn't this like our time? When we have less time or space then don't we need to plan the MOST carefully?

Along with planning trips, is finding out what might be something different there that you are not aware of that might be unpleasant or even life threatening? Like chiggers in the Eastern US, or alligators that can hide in a seemingly shallow puddle?? Sometimes the most important thing is to ask God, what is most important!

So, I am needing another break, as I started this around 4am and not it is almost 8am. I think writing it has helped, but I still have more work to do to distill it WAYYYYY down. (God help me!). Gramajane

continuing on with the talk material to distil FAST

So, in the scriptures I just posted, I feel that it applies to the topic, as it is about what was most important for them, and it again is about what the gospel means which distills down to the answers to Why am I here, Where did I come from and Where am I going,-- which are the most important things for EVERYONE to know, and why sharing them would be most important.

Remembering again, that the ones who asked, were I believe single men, missionary age?

I believe some of the main things were came to earth to learn were:
to trust God, and obey his commandments which will lead us to the most happiness
and include getting married and having a family (one of the first commandments that God gave to Adam and Even ((whom I believe he married)) in the Garden of Eden, to multiply.

And that it is a committed marriage, using correct principles of respect,love etc, that we can learn and experience best the things we need to in this life, along with having a helpmeet to develop our talents etc.

I sure know having children lets you know what patience you thought you had was mostly an illusion, as we certainly get tested by our children ;0 but we are not likely to work to develop better what we already think we have mastered. Right?

Which reasoning with the scriptures, is why I also love missionary work, which is helping others to know what is most important (the answers to the questions) so they can get on with their lives.

So if our eternal goal is to become more like Jesus Christ, who led the way in becoming more like his Father, which is what the scriptures also command us to do "Be ye therefore perfect, even as I, or your Father in Heaven is perfect" but that is not to overwhelm us with how impossible that feels, as I understand in Hebrew the word perfect relates to "whole, or complete" not that we have to be perfect in every jot and tittle on the earth now. :)

So, Back to the list of notes
(maybe you can see why I have felt overwhelmed to be able to distill all this down into 15 min or less? umm-- yeah!)

is a list of things a person makes that they would like to do before they die (kick the bucket) and how important might it be that the list have relation to the eternities and not to just this world? Big to me! (though I do hope that I will get to learn to ride a horse when it is running at least once on this earth ;) but there are other things I want a LOT -- humongous LOT more! ((besides, that right might bring me out of this life sooner than I had intended- true?))

George MacDonald, who is my all time favorite author, said (among MEGA other great things) to "do that which is before you". In other words, that when we keep doing what we see as most important in the present, that we don't need to worry about the future so very much, as planning for the future might be one of the things just before us (after I wash the dishes ? ;)

I certainly do think better when everything around me is clean and organized.

So, what would I do "If Jesus stood beside me" ? or What wouldn't I do too? That ought to help in choosing what priorities there are. Hopefully I would not waste time, and certainly I wouldn't do anything I would be embarrassed for Jesus to see or know I was doing?

I thought about that the other day, in a conversation with a grown woman who saw nothing wrong with watching bedroom scenes on TV. My thought was, would she do that if the view was not through a TV screen, but through a bedroom window? (I doubt it) and as I doubt it is necessary or even good, to have that direct info about things that should be sacred/intimate-- I do not think God would want us to view others. --- Though I think, just as parents can be happy to see their children go off after their marriage on their honeymoon, and pray that they work things out happily, I do not doubt that God is pleased with a husband and wife,obeying his command to multiply etc. Though I also doubt that he would feel a need to have anyone view it.

So, some things in this life can be avoided to help us, just as some things can be enjoyed within proper boundaries set by God. :) Even eating healthy food can be bad for you if you eat way more than you need most of the time!

So next on my notes list-- One way to set goals is to look at our roles, and the "time and season" of our lives. Right now I have still some same roles, as a daughter of God, a member of my birth family, a wife to my husband, a mother to my family (this role has lessened a GREAT deal as the next came into play) a grandmother to my grandchildren. A neighbor to the world, starting with those close to me and working out (the rings of responsibility here) and so to all the world. :) who are all brothers and sisters and all are spirit children of God.

In being a grandmother, I think (hope) it is less important that I remember each of our 17 grand children's birthdays with a card and a gift (though that is one way to let them know I remember and care for them, but there are many love languages. I think it is most important for them to know that they are loved by me (and many outside of their little family) and that we trust that they will make good decisions and will still love them when they make their mistakes, as God does us.

what a challenge to distil all this into 15 min!

So, three min later-- I'm back, and still praying in my heart!

so I think I'll look back at my notes and continue from there, as maybe if I, or AS I, talk/write about the things I felt were important enough to put in my notes, I will be able to feel what is MORE important to put in the talk this morning. I pray so!!!

So in LDS scriptures, in the Doctrine and Covenants, Section 15 and 16
(I am able to remember the references as they are important teen age years ;)
there are scriptures that relate quite well to this topic. They are very short, and though contrary to what one might expect to be possible, they are both almost word for word the same. It was for two (if I remember right, single men?) who apparently were both concerned about the same thing, and prayed to God over it and were given these two chapters in answer. Wow-- If I were Joseph Smith, I would be scratching my head, wondering if I were receiving inspiration right to get practically duplicates, but apparently it was right as they totally accepted it!

Anyway- I think I will divert so see if I can copy just one of them to paste in here, as it seems the right thing to do.

"Section 15
Revelation given through Joseph Smith the Prophet to John Whitmer, at Fayette, New York, June 1829 (see History of the Church, 1:50; see also the heading to section 14). The message is intimately and impressively personal in that the Lord tells of what was known only to John Whitmer and himself. John Whitmer later became one of the Eight Witnesses to the Book of Mormon.

1–2, The Lord’s arm is over all the earth; 3–6, To preach the gospel and save souls is the thing of most worth.

1 Hearken, my servant John, and listen to the words of Jesus Christ, your Lord and your Redeemer.

2 For behold, I speak unto you with sharpness and with power, for mine arm is over all the earth.

3 And I will tell you that which no man knoweth save me and thee alone—

4 For many times you have desired of me to know that which would be of the most worth unto you.

5 Behold, blessed are you for this thing, and for speaking my words which I have given you according to my commandments.

6 And now, behold, I say unto you, that the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring csouls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my Father. Amen.

more on thinking about todays talk

So, if we choose our family and our place, nation, state etc, a huge part comes in here to me. Gratitude! We need to look at what good there is and work from there.

Even if we had parents who made mistakes (we ALL have had that) though some parents make a lot more mistakes than others, and maybe we even got adopted ?

Still, I do believe that we were shown bits of our possible future in different choices we could make, with different scenarios (which is where I think De-javu (sp?) come from- but we don't all remember them, but it sure is cool when we do!) and that we thought we would be able to learn and grow from the challenges, and God thought so too, or he wouldn't have offered us the choice. Still we can mess up too, and we all do to some extent, which is why I am so grateful for REPENTANCE! Jesus Christ has made that possible, and with his grace, after all we can do, we will be able to return home to our Father in Heaven and continue to learn and grow to be better people, till we become like Jesus and like God the Father (boy it is a good thing we have eternity to do it in!!!)

I'm feeling the need for a little break here- as I've been working straight for about two hours or more! (May God help me to get my head together to give the talk!)

what to pack for the "trip of a lifetime"

So talking about priorities in this life, these analogies came to me.

If we won or were gifted to take a wonderful vacation trip,
or what if we got to choose what college we would go to?

what a lot of things would have a big play in what choices we might have?

What do we do here, about going to college? Can we afford it? Can we get accepted? Are any of our good friends going there? How hard is the work? What degree would we graduate with? How is the housing, do they speak our language? Many people do go through this situation!


Can we choose just a vacation, that costs a lot less than a college education?
Where would we like to go?
Disneyland, Europe, beach, mountains???

What things might enter in to our choice? Can we swim, ski (do we LIKE it?), do we sun burn, could we communicate when we get there? is it dangerous?
(I'd love to visit Israel, and many other places but I hear it is not safe!)

Can any of our loved ones go with us? If we are a young single adult, we probably want our good friends, but if we are a young child, we probably want our family (if we love and trust them!) and if we are married with children, we probably want them all (well maybe if some of our children have been very rebellious etc, maybe not :(


Do you think we have SOME choice of where we are born on earth? And who will be our family? I do-- within boundaries of what would be good for us to learn from and for them etc-- only God can know the best fit! I do think we have choice within HIS boundaries.

questions

So what is one of the first things you ask someone you just met? "Where are you from?" (meaning usually, where did you dwell on the earth before) Why does that make any difference? Maybe they just came from a different country, and so need to be given some slack, that they probably don't "get" a lot of our culture. Maybe they came from someplace that we can relate to from our own past, or we can benefit from learning more about etc. --- It does matter, but just as history matters, as the next questions go with it and help us to relate even more.

Why are you here? What do you plan/hope to do in this place? Which helps us to know what their agenda might be, and if we are on the same track or if we can help each other in any way, or possibly if we need to not trust them much. (If they are here to further selfish harmful desires-- drugs etc-- which they may not, make that probably wouldn't tell us, unless they thought we were after the same things!

which leads us to knowing how we learn who we can trust. Hopefully we learned body language as a child, but if those around us were unstable emotionally or morally, their words might not match their actions, which is really hard to deal with, but it can be over come.

It also can be a big help if we learned other languages if they are spoken by people we might come in important contact with. Being able to communicate is so important!

I do not see how to get to the next topics, so this will not be entirely sequential (so sorry about that)

The third question, is Where are you wanting to go, (after your time here), or where do we go after death, which comes with the question, How much time do we have here?
Which we may have some idea of, but we do not always get to be the one in charge, death can come suddenly.

So along with how much time will we have here, and where will we go after being here, is the question of what can we take with us when we leave here? This brings me to the story of Maria, a girl from Mexico who worked as a part nanny and did house cleaning for my aunt. After she had worked in the US for some time, she got to go back to Mexico to visit her family. She told me that she was so mad to realize when she got to the boarder, that the radio she had spent money to buy and take as a gift to her family, the Mexican govt required her to pay so much tax on to get it into her native country that she didn't have the money. They said, to put it in the pile over there if she couldn't pay for it, and she expected that the agents were going to collect the things and sell them themselves for the money. She was so mad that she threw the radio against the floor as hard as she could, breaking it, as she said they were not going to profit from her hard work and leave her with nothing.

So, it is important to know what we can take with us. I had a sort of similar situation, when I bought as a fathers day gift for my husband, a really cool screw driver, that had extra bits in a cool holder on it, and it ratcheted plus it had a led light that pointed to what you would work on.

I had forgotten I had it in my carry on luggage (I would have put it in my checked luggage if I had thought about it) and so they were going to take it from me and throw it in the garbage when I went through screening. I felt terrible! I got them to give it to me, and I ran back to where people were getting off the airplane, and found a lady who seemed to be like me and offered her the tool for a loved one, explaining what was happening. She was happy to get it, though I was sad to lose it.

When we leave this life, what can we take with us? NOT things! Even if like the
Egyptians, who tried to send gold, food and servants etc it does not work. We can only take what? What we have become in our character, our memories (hop0efully they are good ones of service and joy) what we have learned. As the scriptures say, what knowledge we have learned, will help us be so much farther along in the next life.

There, I said it-- we will still have a life, existence after this one, but I totally doubt it is reincarnation. There have been enough people who have come back from dying and seeing "the other side" that we know that is not true, besides the words of the prophets (latter-day ones have spoken more on this than Bible ones)

continuing (I usually (as today) publish cold, no editing

I think/hope getting to share on here will help me focus on what is MOST important. Maybe I will type on here what I have gathered in my notes, as that might help, and also then I can know that even if God HAS inspired me to write something in my notes, but I miss giving it in my talk, he could direct others to it here.

So, I plan to just barely expand on the often one word note,
not in order of importance, but in the order I wrote them down.

As the saying goes, it takes a lot more time to prepare a short well organized talk on a subject, than to be able to ramble along and manage to pack tons in.

So back again to the topic given-- speaking on what priorities there are in life that God has given us with setting goals for what our mission is to do while here. (I do wish he had given us the topic written down, as I was in a bit of shock, just to be asked and then we had to remember the topic, and not just a one word topic either!)

so- expanding on my notes just a little (not in order!)

---"An immaculate house is the sign of a wasted life"
---patriarchal blessings - are guides to what our gifts are, what to watch out for in life.
---prioritize, pray first (night and morning and all through the day) for help with what is most important to do-- it is like a compass check, to be sure we are on course
--- my blog, might be of some help, ironic how the topics match
--- my hobby questions-- I have for years enjoyed a hobby, of when I am having to wait in line, or on an airplane etc, asking some person around me my two hobby questions. the first is "What do you do for fun?" (this is important to me as I tend to focus on work so much myself, and also that it helps the other person relax in speaking with me and in answering questions. --- Second question is "What is the purpose in life?". I have had so fascinating conversations from these questions.

One answer to the second question, was from a rather wild looking guy who rides motorcycles, as he said he guessed the purpose was to survive. I questioned that as nobody does. That took him back a bit and then he said he would have to think on that, as he didn't know.

To me, the answer to this second question is so important, as if you don't know what you are here to do, the likely hood of your accomplishing it is really low. I doubt we are here just to have fun or to "get the most toys before we die".

I feel to jump from my notes a bit (though this is in my later notes) as part of the topic is also contained in "Why am I here, where did I come from and where do I go when I die." Which all presupposes that we are not just a body, but that we have a spirit/intelligence that is eternal.

Speaking of eternal, one suddenly can't become eternal, as to have a beginning (of all-- not just a part of us) is to not BE eternal, you can't just add eternal like frosting to a cake. We can add things TO our eternal core- like adding a physical body to come here is doing that, and then switching that to a resurrected body after the death of this mortal body. But the CORE must be eternal, though it can be growing all the time.

Which gets me to part of the possible ways to my subject or points to make, that I was thinking about last night. Matter is or seems to be eternal-- it can be changed to this or that molecules, but it does not disappear and I understand it can be turned back to what it was before-- even like oxygen. So if things "matter/materials" do not cease to exist entirely, why should we assume that we will?

In a story I read long ago, a man comes to consciousness, alone in the desert, but has lost much of his memory. He does not remember his name or his past, how he got there etc but he does remember mundane things and finds he has some urgent feelings. As I recall it, he feels like he is in danger from someone trying to kill him. He discovers that he must have parachuted down, as he is still attached to a parachute, and he feels he needs to hide/bury the parachute asap and he does. Now he needs to find someone he can trust to help him answer the urgent questions he has, as he had some mission to do but can't remember that either, and he feels that his life is in great danger! Besides being in the desert (no idea which one in the world even) with no food, water, survival equipment or even which direction to go to find what he needs, or if any people he finds will be able to be communicated with in his language.

In a few ways this is like life. We come into life, helpless, feeling emotions, and physical needs.

What is the first thing we NEED? Did you think of --- air ---- but most of us do not go around thinking about air, or talking about it, measuring it etc, it is even something we need to be taught to be careful to have and see that other people have, and that is what will kill us about the fastest if we don't have!

We also probably do not realize (with our minds)) that we need to feel safe, that we can trust that there will be help to fulfill our needs, and even respect/love with that trust. How does a baby learn about trust? From how the caregivers handle them, and fill their needs. Are they left to cry for help, hungry and cold, and when help finally comes, are they lifted gently and are kind loving words/tones used to sooth them? When this happens the baby learns to trust, which is a HUGE thing in life.

Without learning this, life is so much harder, though it is possible with a LOT of work, to learn to trust later. There are levels of trust too, you might trust that someone loves you, but not others, or you might trust that they love you, but they don't know how to intelligently protect and care for you. Issues on issues!

So back to wondering where we came from, and why that is important.

I'm to speak in church to day

the topic the bishopric member gave to speak on (and same for my husband) is about priorities, goals setting- begin new Year- What is our mission from God etc

I find that ironic= as to me that condenses down to
What is the purpose in Life, and
How do we complete our mission here best

I wasn't concerned or scared about speaking until about a day and a half ago, but now the probably 15 min. I will have to account for to God, in addressing the whole congregation feels like a huge MEGA responsibility, especially for the importance of the topic- which IS the very basis of our lives. Now it really weighs on me!

I feel a need to get what MOST needs to be said over so the MOST people listening can understand it, while I have discovered that there are so many different things that could/should be said and ways to say it, with all ages in the group I am to speak to. Even members of other faiths may be there, besides teen ages and children.

I (we) have been praying for days for help to know/prepare what God would have us say. So many ideas have come into my mind, with stories and quotes. I have two pages full of notes and there is no way to say it all, especially as I must not speak too fast or I may not be understood. I need to go through a pick out the the VERY most important things (not an easy task when they ALL seem important). I need to organize the talk so that it is interesting but not overwhelming. I feel I need to give them places to go to get more info to help them. I know that in the last four years, I have only been asked to speak once.

What is kind of extra scary is that time (only second time in my life?) I was prompted while on the stand, during the hymns, that I should not give the talk I had taken so much care to prepare, but ideas came to me in floods of what I needed to talk about. It was incredibly amazing, and super scary at the same time.

The easiest way to prepare is to write out a whole written "talk" but that is the hardest to listen to, and also denies on the spot, inspiration from God
--- (though one can get the inspiration ahead of time as the General Authorities do for their talks in the twice a year conferences, where they must write them out, as they must have copies for translators to work from during the talks. )

I like to hear people share but not lecture, and I know how important it is to have the Holy Spirit help you and also help the congregation to understand too.

I was thinking about it, and I think in my whole life, I have probably given less than 25 talks in church, and that is being generous.